Stupid questions. (1 Viewer)

Otis · Mar 26, 2016

Been asked any stupid questions, or come across dumb quiz or competition questions?

Had a junk email yesterday. 'Chance to win £500 of Asda vouchers. Answer the following question to be in with a chance of winning £500.'

It then instructs you to click on the question link and the question comes up. 'Would you like to win £500 of Asda vouchers, yes or no?'

Terry Gibson's perm · Mar 26, 2016

Otis said:
Been asked any stupid questions, or come across dumb quiz or competition questions?

Had a junk email yesterday. 'Chance to win £500 of Asda vouchers. Answer the following question to be in with a chance of winning £500.'

It then instructs you to click on the quedtion link and the question comes up. 'Would you like to win £500 of Asda vouchers, yes or no?'

I thought was was going to be about Mrs Otis again

Otis · Mar 26, 2016

Terry Gibson's perm said:
I thought was was going to be about Mrs Otis again

No. That question would be, 'what's 40, thinks gayness can be contagious and heats up yoghurt in the microwave?'

Sky_Blue_Daz · Mar 26, 2016

Me and my brother go to the same gym, I got talking to a chap in the sauna and he worked out that he knew my brother he then asked me " how long have you been his brother "

Deleted member 5849 · Mar 26, 2016

An ex girlfriend.

Q: Why does that guinea pig look just like a rabbit?

A: Because it's a rabbit.

Otis · Mar 26, 2016

I heard of someone who asked on Yahoo Answers ' Can anyone please tell me how to ask a question on Yahoo Answers? I have a really urgent question to ask!'

Terry Gibson's perm · Mar 26, 2016

Not really a question. But during the birth of one of our children my wife says to me pass me the gas and air thing, so I did and she sits their sucking away on it after a few minutes she says this is shit and isn't doing anything so I looked and she had been sucking the handle.

tommydazzle · Mar 26, 2016

When I was on a tour of the Blue John caves in Derbyshire somebody asked the tour leader, 'how many undiscovered caves are there?'

Otis · Mar 26, 2016

tommydazzle said:
When I was on a tour of the Blue John caves in Derbyshire somebody asked the tour leader, 'how many undiscovered caves are there?'

Ha, ha!!!

Houchens Head · Mar 26, 2016

I love the question: "Have you read the Terms & Conditions"?

Otis · Mar 26, 2016

Someone asked me once, what's the capital of London?

Sent from my Hudl 2 using Tapatalk

olderskyblue · Mar 26, 2016

Driving home after watching the Matrix reloaded

me: I like the actor that plays agent smith
wife: which one was agent smith?

oucho · Mar 31, 2016

olderskyblue said:
Driving home after watching the Matrix reloaded

me: I like the actor that plays agent smith
wife: which one was agent smith?

Fair play to her, she probably fell asleep during that shit-fest.

Sky_Blue_Daz said:
Me and my brother go to the same gym, I got talking to a chap in the sauna and he worked out that he knew my brother he then asked me " how long have you been his brother "

Reminds me a bit of the interviewer, I think Donna Air or someone of that ilk (it was a then late-20s rock chick, back in the late 90s so could have been Gail Porter, Sara Cox, Zoe Ball...etc) - perfectly reasonable question when interviewing the three members of a pop group: "how long have you known each other?"

Problem was, she was interviewing the Bee Gees.........

Houchens Head · Apr 1, 2016

olderskyblue said:
Driving home after watching the Matrix reloaded

me: I like the actor that plays agent smith
wife: which one was agent smith?

So, come on! Who DID play Agent Smith? (I've never watched the film)

Otis · Apr 1, 2016

They all did.

mrtrench · Apr 1, 2016

Private Eye does a regular column on this, it's called Dumb Britain. There are some very funny responses every fortnight.

http://www.private-eye.co.uk/sections.php?section_link=dumb_britain

robbieray · Apr 1, 2016

I worked in a granite quarry , we used to have geologic students visiting us and one asked me what's was the age of the stone in the quarry I said seventy four million and seven years.blimey they said how can you be so precise, I said I asked the same question when I started and I've been here seven years

Malaka · Apr 1, 2016

The most asked stupid question is when you are watching a movie that you have not seen before and the Mrs says, what happens next?

Ian1779 · Apr 1, 2016

Malaka said:
The most asked stupid question is when you are watching a movie that you have not seen before and the Mrs says, what happens next?

Had this the other night when watching Star Wars: Episode 7. Ten minutes into the film

'Who's the girl?'
'Where's Luke?'
'What did they just say?' (directly after talking over said scene)

oucho · Apr 1, 2016

Yeah my mum and dad are like that!

olderskyblue · Apr 1, 2016

Houchens Head said:
So, come on! Who DID play Agent Smith? (I've never watched the film)

Hugo Weaving, he also played Elrond in Lord of the Rings.

The "joke" was that in the Matrix, there was 100 of him... not difficult to miss really, but my wife did.

robbieray · Apr 1, 2016

Remember the old one , excuse me mate what time does the 9 oclock bus go

dancers lance · Apr 1, 2016

I manufacture and fit kitchens, bedrooms, sliding doors etc, for a living and 9 times out of 10 when you are half way through a job the customer, family member or 'interested' neighbour will walk in and say "this looks nice, but you're not going to leave that like that are you" and point at something that is in the process of being installed. I used to be very polite, laugh and explain that I am half way through the job, now I just say "yep, that's me finished, lovely isn't it, can I have my money? This seems to do the trick and we can usually have a laugh about it.

Malaka · Apr 1, 2016

Another stupid question my wife ask's is "Do you fancy some action tonight"? Of course I say, I love Match of the Day

dancers lance · Apr 1, 2016

I can't believe you get asked, when the rest of have to beg! (or do jobs that we don't want to do, go shopping and act interested, listen to stories about other women they hate at work etc) on the off chance we might get a knee trembler!

Malaka said:
Another stupid question my wife ask's is "Do you fancy some action tonight"? Of course I say, I love Match of the Day

Malaka · Apr 1, 2016

dancers lance said:
I can't believe you get asked, when the rest of have to beg! (or do jobs that we don't want to do, go shopping and act interested, listen to stories about other women they hate at work etc) on the off chance we might get a knee trembler!

And she is 14 years younger than me!

Otis · Apr 1, 2016

Malaka said:
Another stupid question my wife ask's is "Do you fancy some action tonight"? Of course I say, I love Match of the Day

My wife says she fancies some action tonight and then goes out.

dancers lance · Apr 1, 2016

You sir, are living the dream and would like to buy you a pint.

Malaka said:
And she is 14 years younger than me!

Otis · Apr 1, 2016

Malaka said:
And she is 14 years younger than me!

My wife is 18 years younger than me.

Which is slightly worrying to be honest because I am only 30.

dancers lance said:
You sir, are living the dream and would like to buy you a pint.

Malaka · Apr 2, 2016

dancers lance said:
You sir, are living the dream and would like to buy you a pint.

No Dream she is 40 in July and Im 54 in August, together 12 years married 4.
It aint good having a good looking younger woman as our friends are all younger than me and I have nothing in common with them.
A small sacrifice tho, but she does get hit on alot, good job Im a sex god!

Otis · Apr 2, 2016

Malaka said:
No Dream she is 40 in July and Im 54 in August, together 12 years married 4.
It aint good having a good looking younger woman as our friends are all younger than me and I have nothing in common with them.
A small sacrifice tho, but she does get hit on alot, good job Im a sex god!

That's not what she says when you're at work and she's with me.

Houchens Head · Apr 2, 2016

olderskyblue said:
Hugo Weaving, he also played Elrond in Lord of the Rings.

The "joke" was that in the Matrix, there was 100 of him... not difficult to miss really, but my wife did.

Didn't see any Lord of the Rings films either (not my thing!). That's probably why I didn't get the original post!

Otis · Apr 2, 2016

Houchens Head said:
Didn't see any Lord of the Rings films either (not my thing!). That's probably why I didn't get the original post!

Not your thing? All that sex, perversion and debauchery?

Or am I thinking of Traci Lords of the Rings?

Houchens Head · Apr 2, 2016

Otis said:
Not your thing? All that sex, perversion and debauchery?

Or am I thinking of Traci Lords of the Rings?

I'm more of a "Debbie Does Dallas" man meself, Otis!

Otis · Jun 26, 2019

My wife just asked the most bizarre of questions.

Programme on TV tonight about transgender and there was a women who had recently had gender reassignment surgery. My missus turned to me and asked 'Do these these transgender women remember being a man?'

I had to answer with 'No, they had their brains wiped too.'

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