Splitting up with a partner (1 Viewer)

Evo1883 · Sep 21, 2020

I'm guessing some of you have experienced separation after a long term relationship..
I'm at the point where I'm unsure whether the relationship has reached its natural end.. Been together 15 years but il be honest I feel like I don't know where to begin

2 kids involved
Not married

Any advice

Deleted member 5849 · Sep 21, 2020

It may sound cheesy, but I'd suggest talking and counseling before deciding for sure.

clint van damme · Sep 21, 2020

Spend less time on here

Covkid1968# · Sep 21, 2020

Yep....lots of support and guidance out there and opportunities to talk.... take them. After that you can make an informed decision. If I could turn the clocks back I would def have talked to people including the Mrs. I suspect the outcome would be the same but I would have better understood the reason why we weren’t happy. I’m very happy now 4 years on

The Reverend Skyblue · Sep 21, 2020

Been separated for two years from a 25 year marriage, and I must admit the first six months were very hard, but I can now say 18 months on I haven't been this happy for a very very long time.
Live on my own, which I love, do what I want when I want, go anywhere anytime, and have the odd bit naughty fun with a friend with benefits and whatever female falls for my outdated chat up lines, so I love it and can't ever see me living with a women again.

Otis · Sep 22, 2020

The Reverend Skyblue said:
Been separated for two years from a 25 year marriage, and I must admit the first six months were very hard, but I can now say 18 months on I haven't been this happy for a very very long time.
Live on my own, which I love, do what I want when I want, go anywhere anytime, and have the odd bit naughty fun with a friend with benefits and whatever female falls for my outdated chat up lines, so I love it and can't ever see me living with a women again.

What about with a man?

shmmeee · Sep 22, 2020

Be honest and open. If it’s ending take as much emotion out as you can and try and stay cordial for the kids. I’m sure you will be be fair and think of the kids first and you guys second.

Life is always better out of a situation than you think at first. Will second the rave reviews for single life. Single and happy beats unhappy with partner every time.

Grendel · Sep 22, 2020

Evo1883 said:
I'm guessing some of you have experienced separation after a long term relationship..
I'm at the point where I'm unsure whether the relationship has reached its natural end.. Been together 15 years but il be honest I feel like I don't know where to begin

2 kids involved
Not married

Any advice

Get down the pub. Go early though

Houchens Head · Sep 22, 2020

I'm on my 3rd marriage (and also had 2 long term live-together relationships). This year would have seen my 49th wedding anniversary. I admit all the problems have been my fault. I just couldn't keep my dick zipped up! Me and the current missus have been married for 18 years which is an amazing record for me. Sure, I was a bugger at first, (she never found out!) but nowadays, I'm just too bloody old and knackered to mess about, (not that I don't still think about it!) but I'm settled now. So, I'm sorry Evo1883, but I'm probably not the best person to give relationship advice, but I sincerely wish you all the best and hope everything works out for you both.

rob9872 · Sep 22, 2020

Houchens Head said:
I'm on my 3rd marriage (and also had 2 long term live-together relationships). This year would have seen my 49th wedding anniversary. I admit all the problems have been my fault. I just couldn't keep my dick zipped up! Me and the current missus have been married for 18 years which is an amazing record for me. Sure, I was a bugger at first, (she never found out!) but nowadays, I'm just too bloody old and knackered to mess about, (not that I don't still think about it!) but I'm settled now. So, I'm sorry Evo1883, but I'm probably not the best person to give relationship advice, but I sincerely wish you all the best and hope everything works out for you both.

I never understand this - my brother is the same. If you can't commit then why not stay single and have the fun until ready to settle down? Not a criticism btw as all different but if you want to put it about (and that's fine) why move from one relationship straight into another? Once, twice understandable as nobody is perfect but after 4 long term relationships to take on a 5th almost expecting it to fail and put you through the mixer again doesn't seem fair on her or even yourself knowing it'll likely be tears and hardship.

rob9872 · Sep 22, 2020

clint van damme said:
Spend less time on here

Bollocks - this is where we let off steam to save relationships! We have world renowned experts on every topic imaginable to help us through life's struggle!

Deleted member 5849 · Sep 22, 2020

rob9872 said:
I never understand this - my brother is the same. If you can't commit then why not stay single and have the fun until ready to settle down? Not a criticism btw as all different but if you want to put it about (and that's fine) why move from one relationship straight into another? Once, twice understandable as nobody is perfect but after 4 long term relationships to take on a 5th almost expecting it to fail and put you through the mixer again doesn't seem fair on her or even yourself knowing it'll likely be tears and hardship.

I guess each time you think this time'll be different? I guess from what HH has said, this time it actually is, even if it's just he's too old nowadays

rob9872 · Sep 22, 2020

Deleted member 5849 said:
I guess each time you think this time'll be different? I guess from what HH has said, this time it actually is, even if it's just he's too old nowadays

Agree - but he said it could still have gone wrong in the early days and who knows what number he'd be on now if he'd got caught

Deleted member 5849 · Sep 22, 2020

rob9872 said:
Agree - but he said it could still have gone wrong in the early days and who knows what number he'd be on now if he'd got caught

True.

From my POV, maybe I'm a tight fisted old bugger, but I wouldn't want to keep throwing my money away on divorce settlements, anyway

rob9872 · Sep 22, 2020

Deleted member 5849 said:
True.

From my POV, maybe I'm a tight fisted old bugger, but I wouldn't want to keep throwing my money away on divorce settlements, anyway

I guess no need to stray of you're 'tight fisted' ;-)

RegTheDonk · Sep 22, 2020

We can tell you our stories but only you and those in the mix know the ins and outs of your situation ... only you and your missus can make that decision, so talk about it sensibly, clamly, and both of you be open to criticism and adjust your attitudes accordingly. I guess your indecision now means you think it's still worth another try.

Good luck with however you both want to move forward ... just consider if you do decide to keep going, make a plan of goals and rules with the missus and stick to it for the kid's sake. A home of never ending arguing or bad behaviour is probably worse for them than a few months pain of a break up.

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