Putting my cat down (2 Viewers)

shmmeee · Aug 19, 2020

I know we had this for dogs, can’t find the thread now. But just been told we’re going to have to put my cat down (I say mine he’s been living with my parents since I’ve been renting) on Friday.

He’s 16 so had a good run but needs hospitalising at a ridiculous cost and no guarantees of recovery so have decided that’s best.

Here’s to you Cameo, you were a great cat (who apparently I never took pictures of)

Advice on how best to break this to a pet mad ten year old girl gratefully received.

Nick · Aug 19, 2020

Sorry to hear it, no idea how to break it to a 10 year old. Just have to be honest I guess and say that he was old and poorly and will be happier now without any pain!

It's fucking shit.

shmmeee · Aug 19, 2020

Nick said:
Sorry to hear it, no idea how to break it to a 10 year old. Just have to be honest I guess and say that he was old and poorly and will be happier now without any pain!

It's fucking shit.

It really is. She’s with the ex at the moment and I’m going to tell her tomorrow and have planned ice cream after to take the edge off. But she’s going to be distraught.

Nick · Aug 19, 2020

shmmeee said:
It really is. She’s with the ex at the moment and I’m going to tell her tomorrow and have planned ice cream after to take the edge off. But she’s going to be distraught.

You might be surprised after a while. We have had pets die and there's tears for a bit, granted they were only hamsters etc.

Earlsdon_Skyblue1 · Aug 19, 2020

That's rough man, I'm really sorry to hear that. I cannot imagine the day comes for my dogs.

16 years is a great run though, so remember that! When I was a kid and our pets died, it was always comforting when my parents told me the same. It might not be much, but that satisfaction can sometimes go a long way.

Evo1883 · Aug 19, 2020

Sorry to hear this, still not over my dog being put down last month.

skyblueinBaku · Aug 19, 2020

Shmmeee, there is really no way to break the news gently. There will be tears (and not just from your daughter). You will just have to tough it out. It's a shit situation.

TomRad85 · Aug 19, 2020

shmmeee said:
I know we had this for dogs, can’t find the thread now. But just been told we’re going to have to put my cat down (I say mine he’s been living with my parents since I’ve been renting) on Friday.

He’s 16 so had a good run but needs hospitalising at a ridiculous cost and no guarantees of recovery so have decided that’s best.

Here’s to you Cameo, you were a great cat (who apparently I never took pictures of)

View attachment 16464

Advice on how best to break this to a pet mad ten year old girl gratefully received.

Sorry to hear this mate, cats and dogs are like family members.

Your 10 year old will be devastated but if getting another cat is something you'd consider a couple of weeks down the line it'll certainly perk her up a bit.

Edit. I've just noticed you said he's with your parents to not really your decision to get another i guess.

Sent from my SM-G973F using Tapatalk

Mcbean · Aug 19, 2020

sad and difficult thing their life in your hands - right decision - no guarrantee further work would improve - thoughts are with all the family big hole cat or dog - like above still not over the loss of our 15 year old dog a month ago

Sick Boy · Aug 19, 2020

Sorry to hear that mate, I’m more of a cat person myself and losing each one was devastating. I’d probably suggest getting a new one if possible in the medium term, it really does help.

LastGarrison · Aug 19, 2020

Might sound stupid but don’t let her be there even if she wants to be.

We looked after my Missus’ parents cat when they went travelling and not long after they left she went blind and then about 6 months later began being sick.

Took her to the vet who basically said her kidneys had gone, she was massively dehydrated and it was best to let her go.

Stupidly I stayed in the room. It was the 02nd January and I’d been on a two day bender and as they put the injection in and my Missus was stroking her, her head just thumped on the table as she died and I immediately sobbed like a baby.

Wasn’t even my cat and I’m not overly a cat lover but fuck me that got me.

Mcbean · Aug 19, 2020

i cried when both our dogs went - paid to have the vet come out so there was no stress for the dog - no embarassment for emotion - welling up just thinking about the fella who was our rock for so long

Deleted member 4439 · Aug 20, 2020

Shmmee, I'm sorry to read this. I howled like I was possessed when my first cat had to be put down.

Have you thought about how you and your family might say goodbye? I have always felt that it was something I hadn't fully considered and prepared for on the pending euthanasia of my cat.

There are a number of options. Euthanasia could be arranged at home (which I wish I done now, as I felt a sense of betrayal when leaving the cat at the vets). Or the body could be brought home to be laid at rest in your garden, or a pet cremation undertaken, with ashes returned. Also, clipping taken of the fur.

I guess it depends on the person, but I think the opportunity to be part of the process (and helped through it) would provide the basis of closure, as well as a grounding. And I suppose what stories you want to tell around the event depends on yours and your family's belief system.

I thought there was some good advice on this page, especially around creating a space and time for remembrance

Children and Pets - Grief Following Loss of a Cat | VCA Animal Hospitals

Children often have very close relationships with pets, and especially with cats. The loss of a pet cat is inevitable and may be the child’s first experience of death, but there are ways for parents and others to help the child cope with it. It starts with talking with your child about death...

vcahospitals.com

All the best.

Houchens Head · Aug 20, 2020

I hate reading posts like this because they are so sad. I am a massive animal lover - dogs, cats, horses - and it's a huge wrench when they pass on. I really don't have any advice on how to cope with your nipper, Shmmeee, but I pass on my best wishes and sorrow for your loss of a loved pet.

Nick · Aug 20, 2020

The only thing at the minute is that a lot of vets won't come out because of lockdown / Corona etc.

Also, cremation is a good option too

Ian1779 · Aug 20, 2020

What an awfully shit situation, I’m really sorry you have this crap to sort out. My only advice (doesn’t mean it’s good and hopefully not relevant to you) is that whatever you decide to do it sometimes bring the questions about their own mortality - so maybe be prepared for that if they haven’t been exposed to it already. One of the biggest fears I had as a parent was dealing with the inevitable questions from my kids about their own death and how I could not protect them in any way. I didn’t expect to get the question when dealing with a pet bereavement, and took me off guard.

Hope it all works out as OK as it can.

shmmeee · Aug 20, 2020

Told my daughter today, had a cry together, took her to see him one last time, then took her for ice cream. Had a chat about life the universe and everything and how fleeting life is and how weird it is that people appear and disappear.

Shes a good kid.

She’d like to do something with the ashes or similar so got to find out about that.

Mcbean · Aug 21, 2020

You can pay to have your Pet to be individually cremated and they give you a box with the ashes - we have both ours and I still talk to the boxes - however we have Now decided to buy two decent plants and I am going to bury the boxes deep In our garden Under the plants

Mcbean · Aug 21, 2020

Not cheap but think of all the pleasure Our animals give us

shmmeee · Aug 21, 2020

£140 for the cremation. Which seems mental to me but as you say, it’s what we do.

Nick · Aug 21, 2020

shmmeee said:
£140 for the cremation. Which seems mental to me but as you say, it’s what we do.

Was that at the place on the A45?

shmmeee · Aug 21, 2020

Nick said:
Was that at the place on the A45?

Not sure. My Mums sorting it cos she’s taking him to the vets today.

Nick · Aug 21, 2020

The place on the A45 is quite good, I think the vets will probably sort it though

Mcbean · Aug 21, 2020

Similar for us so it seems to be the rate - you are paying so you get back your pets ashes I hope !

Evo1883 · Aug 28, 2020

How you feeling shmmeee

Houchens Head · Aug 29, 2020

You okay now, @shmmeee?

torchomatic · Aug 31, 2020

Sad that. We had to put our cat down back in May, she was 16. Problems with her kidneys. Common problem with older cats. We were really upset for a few days. Still miss her now.

My son took it ok though.

mrtrench · Aug 31, 2020

Sorry to read that; best wishes to you all. We're close I think with our cat. She's 19 and just recently has developed IBS, which apparently is common in old cats. She then got cystitis. Obviously we've stumped up for the treatment for now and are cherishing the last few months (year?) with her - but we know it cannot be far off. We won't have her suffer if she develops something worse.

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