Mixed Feelings (1 Viewer)

JJ Smith · Feb 16, 2017

Hi Forum, first post so first I'll introduce myself. Im J, originally from Cov but now in Nuneaton, and yes I do have the correct number of fingers etc lol
Basically, in 2013 I lost my son and nephew in a car accident, both aged 15 and big cov fans, and we used to attend often home and away. I've only been twice since, once to the emirates and the first game back at the Ricoh against Gillingham. My dream would of been to take them to watch Cov at Wembley, and a very selfish part of me hoped we might screw up in the semi, I know that's bad of me as a city fan but now we are there, I'm really not sure I have it in me to go. Was upsetting for me at the emirates thinking my lad should be there, I'd imagine Wembley to be worse. On the other hand, my Dad didn't take me in 87 saying I was to young, and I've always hoped one day we would get there. Now I'm 42, and really unsure how to play it. Hard to answer I imagine, but what would you do? Apologies if this post brings the mood down.
PUSB

Nick · Feb 16, 2017

Really sorry to hear that.

I think you should go, the link can still be there! They would both want you to and have a beer or two for them both!

Otis · Feb 16, 2017

Guess Wembley would again bring mixed feelings.

How will you feel you think about watching the game just on TV?

Badger · Feb 16, 2017

Sorry to hear of your loss. One thing you should have learnt is not to live with regrets that you didn't do something. It would be better to go and be upset than spend the rest of your life wishing you did

robbieray · Feb 16, 2017

Oh man bless you, go if you feel like it your son will be with you

Nick · Feb 16, 2017

Otis said:
Guess Wembley would again bring mixed feelings.

Guess that's the main thing, on whether it would be a good or bad experience.

Otis · Feb 16, 2017

Well yeah, I personally would recommend you going, but obviously I don't know how you feel about it all in your heart, or how raw it all still is for you.

Would you go with friends and family?

JJ Smith · Feb 16, 2017

Otis said:
Guess Wembley would again bring mixed feelings.

How will you feel you think about watching the game just on TV?

I would probably wish I was there to be honest

robbieray · Feb 16, 2017

Nothing could be as bad as what you've been through

JJ Smith · Feb 16, 2017

Badger said:
Sorry to hear of your loss. One thing you should have learnt is not to live with regrets that you didn't do something. It would be better to go and be upset than spend the rest of your life wishing you did

I try to have that attitude, ticked lots off my bucket list, Cov at wembley would be another

JJ Smith · Feb 16, 2017

Nick said:
Guess that's the main thing, on whether it would be a good or bad experience.

Is watching Cov lately ever a good experience? :shamefullyembarrased:

JJ Smith · Feb 16, 2017

Otis said:
Well yeah, I personally would recommend you going, but obviously I don't know how you feel about it all in your heart, or how raw it all still is for you.

Would you go with friends and family?

Would be my brother and his son, not going to let my dad go as he didn't let me go in 87 :finger:

matesx · Feb 16, 2017

Christ that's awful. Im so sorry for your loss.

My lad is 14... i cant imagine what you, your family and friends must have gone through.

Yes mate you should go, they will be with you.

Otis · Feb 16, 2017

I suppose the question you have to ask yourself is, would your son and nephew want you to go?

If they could talk to you now what would they say to you? What would you say to them if you were in the same position and could talk to them from the spirit world?

JJ Smith · Feb 16, 2017

matesx said:
Christ that's awful. Im so sorry for your loss.

My lad is 14... i cant imagine what you, your family and friends must have gone through.

Yes mate you should go, they will be with you.

Thank you, cherish and love every moment with your boy mate

JJ Smith · Feb 16, 2017

Otis said:
I suppose the question you have to ask yourself is, would your son and nephew want you to go?

If they could talk to you now what would they say to you? What would you say to them if you were in the same position and could talk to them from the spirit world?

They would likely be pissed off if I didn't go. Deep down I know the right thing to do is go, just found the arsenal game real tough, was a lot fresher then though, not that it gets easier as it don't.

covcity4life · Feb 16, 2017

JJ Smith said:
Hi Forum, first post so first I'll introduce myself. Im J, originally from Cov but now in Nuneaton, and yes I do have the correct number of fingers etc lol
Basically, in 2013 I lost my son and nephew in a car accident, both aged 15 and big cov fans, and we used to attend often home and away. I've only been twice since, once to the emirates and the first game back at the Ricoh against Gillingham. My dream would of been to take them to watch Cov at Wembley, and a very selfish part of me hoped we might screw up in the semi, I know that's bad of me as a city fan but now we are there, I'm really not sure I have it in me to go. Was upsetting for me at the emirates thinking my lad should be there, I'd imagine Wembley to be worse. On the other hand, my Dad didn't take me in 87 saying I was to young, and I've always hoped one day we would get there. Now I'm 42, and really unsure how to play it. Hard to answer I imagine, but what would you do? Apologies if this post brings the mood down.
PUSB

really sorry to hear of your loss. cant imagine how hard it must be.

my advise would be too try live rest of your life in hapiness as thats what your son and nephew would want, loss is hard enough, to have it consume you for rest of life is horrible but also understandable i should add.

you will never forget your lost loved ones,but you can try to enjoy each day as it comes with those you still have by your side. get 2 tickets and take your dad. have that sunny day out at wembley with your father 30 years on.

your son and nephew will be watching with the best seats in the house.

matesx · Feb 16, 2017

Bloody hell im choking up here.

Any so called problems i may have had on my mind today have just evaporated into worthlessness.

Value what really matters.

JJ Smith · Feb 16, 2017

matesx said:
Bloody hell im choking up here.

Any so called problems i may have had on my mind today have just evaporated into worthlessness.

Value what really matters.

Sorry pal, didn't want to drop the mood. Up the city lol

JJ Smith · Feb 16, 2017

covcity4life said:
really sorry to hear of your loss. cant imagine how hard it must be.

my advise would be too try live rest of your life in hapiness as thats what your son and nephew would want, loss is hard enough, to have it consume you for rest of life is horrible but also understandable i should add.

you will never forget your lost loved ones,but you can try to enjoy each day as it comes with those you still have by your side. get 2 tickets and take your dad. have that sunny day out at wembley with your father 30 years on.

your son and nephew will be watching with the best seats in the house.

Thanks pal

robbieray · Feb 16, 2017

That's the thing we have some great guys on here

Buster · Feb 16, 2017

Go ! They are in your heart ,take them with you and show them the Sky Blues at Wembley!

Robccfc87 · Feb 16, 2017

JJ, listening to your comments I think you've already made your mind up but I totally agree with the saying: "if you're gonna have regrets, make them for something you did rather than something you didn't."
See you there
Pusb

Otis · Feb 16, 2017

robbieray said:
That's the thing we have some great guys on here

Yep. And then you have me.

Cranfield Sky Blue · Feb 16, 2017

Do it my friend! Can't imagine your pain but you have to go, if only to raise a glass in memory of those loved ones. I am sure you will have 40,000 people to support you!

blueflint · Feb 16, 2017

welcome to madness but you should go

steve82 · Feb 16, 2017

JJ... I cannot imagine how it feels, I cannot go to a game without my son who's nearly 12 we share experience everywhere so to be faced with your dilemma is a heart puller.
My advice would be to go still, just because your son and nephew are not there physically by your side does not mean they will not be there in spirit.
I'm sure you still share quiet words together, so you have to believe they will be there with you.
My partner is a big believer in the spirit lives on and you probably see signs in indications that they still are around you in spirit.
Well done for sharing your story, best wishes JJ.

NortonSkyBlue · Feb 16, 2017

Sorry for your loss my fellow Sky Blue, go with your heart, we may lose the game but you can honour your son by creating a memory he would have cherished.
I live in Riyadh but my home is in Bermuda, Nuneaton and I will be home for the final. I would raise a toast to their memories at Wembley and I am sure others would do too.

olderskyblue · Feb 16, 2017

watched a play, we love you city, at the Belgrade ages ago about a bloke who went to Wembley in 87.... won't say any more for those that haven't seen it.

Anyway, I would go if I was you, and raise a drink to their memories while there. Of course it will be sad, but then staying at home that day will also be sad.

Otis · Feb 16, 2017

blueflint said:
welcome to madness but you should go

Are they the previous match entertainment or something?

Cool.

JJ Smith · Feb 16, 2017

Robccfc87 said:
JJ, listening to your comments I think you've already made your mind up but I totally agree with the saying: "if you're gonna have regrets, make them for something you did rather than something you didn't."
See you there
Pusb

Thank you.

JJ Smith · Feb 16, 2017

steve82 said:
JJ... I cannot imagine how it feels, I cannot go to a game without my son who's nearly 12 we share experience everywhere so to be faced with your dilemma is a heart puller.
My advice would be to go still, just because your son and nephew are not there physically by your side does not mean they will not be there in spirit.
I'm sure you still share quiet words together, so you have to believe they will be there with you.
My partner is a big believer in the spirit lives on and you probably see signs in indications that they still are around you in spirit.
Well done for sharing your story, best wishes JJ.

Thank you

stevefloyd · Feb 16, 2017

Jj.. i think it is a lot to do with guilt and opening up fresh wounds... go and celebrate the day as though they was both with you. I cannot begin to feel your pain but do it for them as well as yourself

CovisGod · Feb 16, 2017

Mate, do not atall feel bad for posting, thanks for sharing your story.

Personally I think you should go, in honour of them. Enjoy your day and make it a happy experience. They'll be there with you in spirit.

PUSB

Bernie Rhodes Nose · Feb 16, 2017

The fact that you have signed up to this forum and delivered your first post can only draw us to one conclusion, you are going. You are going to have to make this journey one day and I can't think of a better tribute to you loved ones then to see their father/uncle walking under the Wembley Arches in celebration of their lives. You will may get emotional, which is not a negative response but whether we win or lose the game you will know that you have conquered a major hurdle and from the response from the lads on this forum when you walk up wembley way you want be alone.

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