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Mental Health (12 Viewers)

  • Thread starter Ccfcisparks
  • Start date Oct 12, 2020
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B

Brighton Sky Blue

Well-Known Member
  • Jun 18, 2021
  • #561
Skyblueweeman said:
How do you know you're not one of them ;-)
Click to expand...

When the going gets tough

 
Reactions: Skyblueweeman
B

Brighton Sky Blue

Well-Known Member
  • Jun 18, 2021
  • #562
Skyblueweeman said:
Well done for typing that Dave, it's not easy to do. Despite your parents apparent brush off, it seems that the last 18 months has taken it's toll on many, even if this forum is anything to go by.

Having felt like crap at many points this year, I agree with what Shmmeee says. I severely reduced screen time, ate better and started running. I hated the running at the start but got into it and ended up being able to do 5 miles in 45 mins. I've regressed a little over the last month or so and if I'm honest, starting to go backwards. That said, I've found out I'm going to be a dad again late November which is great, although gives the added pressure of needing to find some office space (which I can't afford at the moment).
Click to expand...

Organised sport has really helped in the last month for me, even if it is just hopelessly swiping at a cricket ball. A chance to forget about Covid and work for half a day, get some exercise and get out for some other reason than work. Much less irritable at the end of the day even if I've had a shocker in the middle
 
Reactions: Sky Blue Pete and Skyblueweeman
S

SBT

Well-Known Member
  • Jun 18, 2021
  • #563
chiefdave said:
Did think about trying a therapist but then I saw how much they charge.
Click to expand...

Don't rule it out entirely just because it's expensive on the face of it. No doubt it costs me a small fortune to see a therapist, but it remains one of the best investments I've ever made. I too thought it would be completely unaffordable before I started, but quickly realised it was worth every penny - unequivocally turned things round for me and changed my life for the better. Even a few sessions might make a world of difference.
 
Reactions: AOM, LastGarrison, Sky Blue Pete and 3 others

Nick

Administrator
  • Jun 18, 2021
  • #564
SBT said:
Don't rule it out entirely just because it's expensive on the face of it. No doubt it costs me a small fortune to see a therapist, but it remains one of the best investments I've ever made. I too thought it would be completely unaffordable before I started, but quickly realised it was worth every penny - unequivocally turned things round for me and changed my life for the better. Even a few sessions might make a world of difference.
Click to expand...

Also after a few sessions it doesn't have to be weekly. Can be fortnightly etc.

Money well spent
 

COV

Well-Known Member
  • Jun 18, 2021
  • #565
SBT said:
Don't rule it out entirely just because it's expensive on the face of it. No doubt it costs me a small fortune to see a therapist, but it remains one of the best investments I've ever made. I too thought it would be completely unaffordable before I started, but quickly realised it was worth every penny - unequivocally turned things round for me and changed my life for the better. Even a few sessions might make a world of difference.
Click to expand...

it is a sound investment
 

shmmeee

Well-Known Member
  • Jun 18, 2021
  • #566
SBT said:
Don't rule it out entirely just because it's expensive on the face of it. No doubt it costs me a small fortune to see a therapist, but it remains one of the best investments I've ever made. I too thought it would be completely unaffordable before I started, but quickly realised it was worth every penny - unequivocally turned things round for me and changed my life for the better. Even a few sessions might make a world of difference.
Click to expand...

This 100%, Id tried a couple through IAPT and not got anywhere. Found a private guy who just clicked and it was worth every penny.
 
Reactions: Flying Fokker and Sky Blue Pete

Flying Fokker

Well-Known Member
  • Jun 19, 2021
  • #567
You guys are a decent bunch. Just saying.
 
Reactions: Houchens Head, AOM and wingy

robbiekeane

Well-Known Member
  • Jun 20, 2021
  • #568
Dumb question about the therapy stuff - what do you talk about? I was thinking of trying it just because I’m stressed all the time about work and stuff - but how do you start with that?
 

Sky Blue Pete

Well-Known Member
  • Jun 20, 2021
  • #569
robbiekeane said:
Dumb question about the therapy stuff - what do you talk about? I was thinking of trying it just because I’m stressed all the time about work and stuff - but how do you start with that?
Click to expand...
I have a book that my counsellor gave me when I asked that question. Not that I think I nailed the counselling and still feel I would value some more.

It’s called counselling for toads and I’m happy to bring it round or post it depending on where you are.

The first question I was asked was what do you want to get out of the counselling sessions? So you might say you’re stressed out all the time about work and stuff. Then they’d ask questions about the work and stuff and get you talking to understand what it is.
 

shmmeee

Well-Known Member
  • Jun 20, 2021
  • #570
robbiekeane said:
Dumb question about the therapy stuff - what do you talk about? I was thinking of trying it just because I’m stressed all the time about work and stuff - but how do you start with that?
Click to expand...

Mine followed a CBT toolkit basically (you can find apps/examples online, I’ve not used any so no recommendations but should give you an idea).

First thing he called ABC - Action, Behaviour, Consequence.

So take negative self talk as an example behaviour. First I was told to look for actions that set off my negative behaviour, this alone helps because it tells you early when you’re likely to start spiralling. Then looked at that I did in response so I knew I was doing it if that makes sense. Then the consequence (ultimately bad because that’s why I want to change). This helped be most day to day notice the behaviours that I needed to put a stop to. Over time I caught more of them earlier and was more reflective and less reactive.

Other stuff he did included guided meditations looking back at hurtful times and reimagining them with better outcomes. Some free writing. A workshop on identifying “tapes” (scripts you say to yourself) and how to unpack them and decide if you want to keep listening to them (some are useful). This was a bit hit and miss for me personally. Too cynical for the plinky plonky woo stuff.

Many sessions it was just the chance to talk to someone with no ties to your personal life and then being a “rubber duck” where you come to realisations by verbalising your thoughts requiring you to clarify them, with him occasionally challenging something I’d said about myself or a situation.

I stopped going partly due to money and partly due to getting better. I’ve not had a serious depressive episode and handily my anxiety much better in the years since thanks to the tools I was taught. I’m actually starting to think about going back, but less in crisis mode this time and more because my reflection has lead me to areas I’d like to work on and I feel a need a little specific help.
 
Reactions: Terry_dactyl, Nick and Sky Blue Pete

Houchens Head

Fairly well known member from Malvern
  • Jun 20, 2021
  • #571
When I saw a therapist about 30 years ago, she first asked me about my childhood. She got it bang on. I hadn't realised that I had been suppressing so much anger and sadness the whole of my life. She told me to write things down when I thought of shitty things from my past. I wrote down so many things, I ended up writing my autobiography. Not saying I recommend that, but it helped me.
 
Reactions: Terry_dactyl, Sick Boy, clint van damme and 2 others

shmmeee

Well-Known Member
  • Jun 20, 2021
  • #572
Houchens Head said:
When I saw a therapist about 30 years ago, she first asked me about my childhood. She got it bang on. I hadn't realised that I had been suppressing so much anger and sadness the whole of my life. She told me to write things down when I thought of shitty things from my past. I wrote down so many things, I ended up writing my autobiography. Not saying I recommend that, but it helped me.
Click to expand...

Writing is really good therapy full stop. If you just sit down and keep writing you’d be amazed at what you come out with.
 
Reactions: Houchens Head

Houchens Head

Fairly well known member from Malvern
  • Jun 20, 2021
  • #573
shmmeee said:
Writing is really good therapy full stop. If you just sit down and keep writing you’d be amazed at what you come out with.
Click to expand...
I agree shmmeee. Even if you just jot down how you felt for the day, things you thought about, people you met etc, it's like keeping a journal. Very therapeutic.
 
Reactions: COV and shmmeee

fernandopartridge

Well-Known Member
  • Jun 20, 2021
  • #574
Flying Fokker said:
You guys are a decent bunch. Just saying.
Click to expand...
Stop being judgemental
 
Reactions: olderskyblue, Houchens Head, Sky Blue Pete and 1 other person

Sky Blue Harry H

Well-Known Member
  • Jun 20, 2021
  • #575
Anybody on here who needs a fantastic counsellor (also a fantastic bloke, and a CCFC fan) DM me. Not touting for work, but I've known him for years and been told he's brilliant.
 

Earlsdon_Skyblue1

Well-Known Member
  • Jun 20, 2021
  • #576
Sky Blue Harry H said:
Anybody on here who needs a fantastic counsellor (also a fantastic bloke, and a CCFC fan) DM me. Not touting for work, but I've known him for years and been told he's brilliant.
Click to expand...

Is it Max Biamou by any chance?
 
Reactions: Sky Blue Harry H and Sick Boy

Sky Blue Harry H

Well-Known Member
  • Jun 21, 2021
  • #577
Earlsdon_Skyblue1 said:
Is it Max Biamou by any chance?
Click to expand...

Haha - you got me there mate!
 

clint van damme

Well-Known Member
  • Jun 21, 2021
  • #578
Earlsdon_Skyblue1 said:
Is it Max Biamou by any chance?
Click to expand...

Dr. Max Biamou to you
 
Reactions: Sky Blue Harry H

Houchens Head

Fairly well known member from Malvern
  • Jun 21, 2021
  • #579
Earlsdon_Skyblue1 said:
Is it Max Biamou by any chance?
Click to expand...
Nah! It's Dr Hannibal Lecter.
 

Nick

Administrator
  • Jun 21, 2021
  • #580
Estate Agents, Solicitors and Sellers really aren't good for mental health.

About ready to kill somebody today, fucking useless pricks.
 
Reactions: TomRad85

Earlsdon_Skyblue1

Well-Known Member
  • Jun 21, 2021
  • #581
Nick said:
Estate Agents, Solicitors and Sellers really aren't good for mental health.

About ready to kill somebody today, fucking useless pricks.
Click to expand...

My solicitor was really good, but horrendously overworked. Don't think they get that much from house purchases do they?

It'll drop one day when you aren't expecting it.
 

Nick

Administrator
  • Jun 21, 2021
  • #582
Earlsdon_Skyblue1 said:
My solicitor was really good, but horrendously overworked. Don't think they get that much from house purchases do they?

It'll drop one day when you aren't expecting it.
Click to expand...

It's the seller's one, absolutely awful. Overlooked 7 enquiries from March.
 

TomRad85

Well-Known Member
  • Jun 21, 2021
  • #583
Nick said:
Estate Agents, Solicitors and Sellers really aren't good for mental health.

About ready to kill somebody today, fucking useless pricks.
Click to expand...
As someone who is supposed to be completing this week, I can relate.

Sent from my SM-G973F using Tapatalk
 

Grendel

Well-Known Member
  • Jun 21, 2021
  • #584
On the way to work I found myself putting This Strange Engine on Spotify.

I’m booked in for therapy I’m sure I’ll recover
 
Reactions: Deleted member 5849

Marty

Well-Known Member
  • Jun 21, 2021
  • #585
 

robbiekeane

Well-Known Member
  • Jun 22, 2021
  • #586
Sky Blue Pete said:
I have a book that my counsellor gave me when I asked that question. Not that I think I nailed the counselling and still feel I would value some more.

It’s called counselling for toads and I’m happy to bring it round or post it depending on where you are.

The first question I was asked was what do you want to get out of the counselling sessions? So you might say you’re stressed out all the time about work and stuff. Then they’d ask questions about the work and stuff and get you talking to understand what it is.
Click to expand...
shmmeee said:
Mine followed a CBT toolkit basically (you can find apps/examples online, I’ve not used any so no recommendations but should give you an idea).

First thing he called ABC - Action, Behaviour, Consequence.

So take negative self talk as an example behaviour. First I was told to look for actions that set off my negative behaviour, this alone helps because it tells you early when you’re likely to start spiralling. Then looked at that I did in response so I knew I was doing it if that makes sense. Then the consequence (ultimately bad because that’s why I want to change). This helped be most day to day notice the behaviours that I needed to put a stop to. Over time I caught more of them earlier and was more reflective and less reactive.

Other stuff he did included guided meditations looking back at hurtful times and reimagining them with better outcomes. Some free writing. A workshop on identifying “tapes” (scripts you say to yourself) and how to unpack them and decide if you want to keep listening to them (some are useful). This was a bit hit and miss for me personally. Too cynical for the plinky plonky woo stuff.

Many sessions it was just the chance to talk to someone with no ties to your personal life and then being a “rubber duck” where you come to realisations by verbalising your thoughts requiring you to clarify them, with him occasionally challenging something I’d said about myself or a situation.

I stopped going partly due to money and partly due to getting better. I’ve not had a serious depressive episode and handily my anxiety much better in the years since thanks to the tools I was taught. I’m actually starting to think about going back, but less in crisis mode this time and more because my reflection has lead me to areas I’d like to work on and I feel a need a little specific help.
Click to expand...
Appreciate the detailed response, thanks.

@Sky Blue Pete , could you swing by Long Beach and drop it off?
 
Reactions: Sky Blue Pete

Sky Blue Pete

Well-Known Member
  • Jun 22, 2021
  • #587
robbiekeane said:
Appreciate the detailed response, thanks.

@Sky Blue Pete , could you swing by Long Beach and drop it off?
Click to expand...
Lol
 

Ccfcisparks

Well-Known Member
  • Jul 16, 2021
  • #588
Struggling recently, but just found out today I've passed 3 more of my chartered accountancy papers. 9 down this past year, 3 more to go before the end of 2021 then a well deserved break.
 
Reactions: AOM, Sky_Blue_Daz, Houchens Head and 7 others

SBAndy

Well-Known Member
  • Jul 16, 2021
  • #589
Ccfcisparks said:
Struggling recently, but just found out today I've passed 3 more of my chartered accountancy papers. 9 down this past year, 3 more to go before the end of 2021 then a well deserved break.
Click to expand...

God knows how you do it. I studied accountancy at uni - boring as fuck.
 

Evo1883

Well-Known Member
  • Jul 16, 2021
  • #590
SBAndy said:
God knows how you do it. I studied accountancy at uni - boring as fuck.
Click to expand...

My mate was an accountant and then came away from it for the same reason.

Moneys good mind
 

Evo1883

Well-Known Member
  • Jul 16, 2021
  • #591
My mental health is the best it's been for quite a long time .

In a good place and just been offered a permanent contract at work , booked a holiday for next year and about to buy a second car , got my season ticket at city ...sadly I've still got an extraordinarily average sized penis but il have to learn to live with that
 
Reactions: robbiekeane, GaryMabbuttsLeftKnee, AOM and 8 others

Ccfcisparks

Well-Known Member
  • Jul 16, 2021
  • #592
SBAndy said:
God knows how you do it. I studied accountancy at uni - boring as fuck.
Click to expand...
Boring as fuck mate but somehow I have a knack for it.
 
W

wingy

Well-Known Member
  • Jul 17, 2021
  • #593
Skyblueweeman said:
Well done for typing that Dave, it's not easy to do. Despite your parents apparent brush off, it seems that the last 18 months has taken it's toll on many, even if this forum is anything to go by.

Having felt like crap at many points this year, I agree with what Shmmeee says. I severely reduced screen time, ate better and started running. I hated the running at the start but got into it and ended up being able to do 5 miles in 45 mins. I've regressed a little over the last month or so and if I'm honest, starting to go backwards. That said, I've found out I'm going to be a dad again late November which is great, although gives the added pressure of needing to find some office space (which I can't afford at the moment).

There's always something to worry about unfortunately. This has been a real life changing time...I've looked at all aspects of my life - cutting down contact with friends who are full of self importance, reducing time on sites that are full of doom and gloom and thinking about the little things that put a smile on face, reducing expenditure where possible (goodbye Sky Sports).

We're all in this together - don't think you're in this on your own as seemingly, there's many of us feeling down at the moment.

Reach out privately if you fancy a chat. We can chat about all things Pompey as I know you used to live down this way.

All the best,

WM
Click to expand...
Hey missed this.
Congratulations WM.
Of course you know the answer to the office space ,a garden Room /pod, with no gastly commute for the majority of your business.
 
Reactions: Skyblueweeman

Skyblueweeman

Well-Known Member
  • Jul 18, 2021
  • #594
wingy said:
Hey missed this.
Congratulations WM.
Of course you know the answer to the office space ,a garden Room /pod, with no gastly commute for the majority of your business.
Click to expand...

Thanks Wingy!

We're redoing the garden but with a shed, we don't have room for one of those pods unfortunately. Our back garden backs onto a horse paddock which is nice for the boy to look at the horses etc.

I'm sure I'll get something sorted!
 
Reactions: wingy

GaryMabbuttsLeftKnee

Well-Known Member
  • Jul 20, 2021
  • #595
An anxiety sufferer here. Generally situational based (although it is a few situations). Causes me to get down a fair bit. Had a shit weekend with chronic toothache and I’m scared shitless of the dentist. Normally persevere without going but this time have signed up for a dentist for the first time in over a decade and now am absolutely bricking it about an appointment on Thursday. Doesn’t help that I’m terrible in the sun, so am dreading it even more going in when it’s hot. Urgh.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
 
Reactions: Sky Blue Pete
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