Life surprises. (6 Viewers)

Houchens Head · Jan 11, 2021

Anyone else had a surprise happen to them that was pretty much life changing?
I'm 67 (68 this year) and by pure chance, have just found out this morning that I have a younger sister who I've never met. She is 10 years younger than me. Long story, but my old dad was a bit of a bugger. I knew he'd remarried many years ago and had a son (who I've also never met) but apparently, a lady has been in touch and gives so much info on my dad, where he worked, etc and even describes the inside of the bungalow that we lived in. She said she was about 3 or 4 at the time. She says we my be siblings! I'm still trying to trace my younger brother after all these years but as yet, no luck.

Otis · Jan 11, 2021

Houchens Head said:
Anyone else had a surprise happen to them that was pretty much life changing?
I'm 67 (68 this year) and by pure chance, have just found out this morning that I have a younger sister who I've never met. She is 10 years younger than me. Long story, but my old dad was a bit of a bugger. I knew he'd remarried many years ago and had a son (who I've also never met) but apparently, a lady has been in touch and gives so much info on my dad, where he worked, etc and even describes the inside of the bungalow that we lived in. She said she was about 3 or 4 at the time. She says we my be siblings! I'm still trying to trace my younger brother after all these years but as yet, no luck.

Wow! Be lovely if you can now form a bond, Houch.

Good luck.

skybluetony176 · Jan 11, 2021

I know I’ve got a lot more Aunts, Uncles and cousins in Ireland than I know about. My grandad had at least one other family, possibly two and was almost certainly a bigamist. It’s a unspoken secret that no one is supposed to talk about but does. If rumours are true at least he wasn’t a bigot. He and my grandmother were both protestant whereas his other wife and family are allegedly catholic, which was apparently how he got away with it as the 2 churches weren’t on speaking terms at the time.

Houchens Head · Jan 11, 2021

Otis said:
Wow! Be lovely if you can now form a bond, Houch.

Good luck.

Had it confirmed. She is my younger sister! We will be keeping in touch as of today. Problem is, I think she lives in Essex, so can't travel to meet.

Sky Blue Pete · Jan 11, 2021

Houchens Head said:
Anyone else had a surprise happen to them that was pretty much life changing?
I'm 67 (68 this year) and by pure chance, have just found out this morning that I have a younger sister who I've never met. She is 10 years younger than me. Long story, but my old dad was a bit of a bugger. I knew he'd remarried many years ago and had a son (who I've also never met) but apparently, a lady has been in touch and gives so much info on my dad, where he worked, etc and even describes the inside of the bungalow that we lived in. She said she was about 3 or 4 at the time. She says we my be siblings! I'm still trying to trace my younger brother after all these years but as yet, no luck.

Sounds exciting.

Houchens Head · Jan 11, 2021

She said she'll phone me later as she has to be somewhere this afternoon. Looking forward to it!

Kneeza · Jan 11, 2021

I'm the same age as you, and an only child. Don't see that changing!
Mum did re-marry (a guy from Connecticut) in the eighties, and I inherited three step-brothers*, which came as a bit of a surprise I suppose, but nothing like yours.
Rather exciting for you.

*I've met one of them, briefly, but he has since passed away. Another has since gone, and the third is terminally ill. Don't think I 'do' siblings!

lifeskyblue · Jan 11, 2021

Houchens Head said:
Anyone else had a surprise happen to them that was pretty much life changing?
I'm 67 (68 this year) and by pure chance, have just found out this morning that I have a younger sister who I've never met. She is 10 years younger than me. Long story, but my old dad was a bit of a bugger. I knew he'd remarried many years ago and had a son (who I've also never met) but apparently, a lady has been in touch and gives so much info on my dad, where he worked, etc and even describes the inside of the bungalow that we lived in. She said she was about 3 or 4 at the time. She says we my be siblings! I'm still trying to trace my younger brother after all these years but as yet, no luck.

Best of luck. Just a shame this damn virus will prevent you meeting for next couple of months. Hope it’s the start of a great sibling friendship.

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bringbackrattles · Jan 11, 2021

Houchens Head said:
Anyone else had a surprise happen to them that was pretty much life changing?
I'm 67 (68 this year) and by pure chance, have just found out this morning that I have a younger sister who I've never met. She is 10 years younger than me. Long story, but my old dad was a bit of a bugger. I knew he'd remarried many years ago and had a son (who I've also never met) but apparently, a lady has been in touch and gives so much info on my dad, where he worked, etc and even describes the inside of the bungalow that we lived in. She said she was about 3 or 4 at the time. She says we my be siblings! I'm still trying to trace my younger brother after all these years but as yet, no luck.

Not so much a surprise but a bit similar. Me and an ex girlfriend had a son,and when he was about 8 months old I got sent down for 2 years. She said she would stay with me,but she changed her mind and finished with me after a few months into my sentence. I was expecting it to be honest so just got on with doing my time. When I came out of prison I wanted to see my son and form a relationship,but she said she wanted to bring him up on her own,and got a bit hard and basically told me to move on etc. Anyway after trying to win her round but to no avail I saw a solicitor about it,and he said as I was an ex prisoner etc it would be difficult to get access,this was 1980,so I decided I'd wait till my son was at an age to make his own mind up. To cut it short he found out who I was and we got in touch on social media ! He is doing well and I'm proud of him, and he knows of my past etc, but it's only been a few months so I'm taking things slowly, and I'm a firm believer in what will be will be. I don't hold any grudges about my ex in what she did, I was a violent thug back then and deserved all what I got, but hopefully given time things may work out for the best ?

Houchens Head · Jan 11, 2021

bringbackrattles said:
Not so much a surprise but a bit similar. Me and an ex girlfriend had a son,and when he was about 8 months old I got sent down for 2 years. She said she would stay with me,but she changed her mind and finished with me after a few months into my sentence. I was expecting it to be honest so just got on with doing my time. When I came out of prison I wanted to see my son and form a relationship,but she said she wanted to bring him up on her own,and got a bit hard and basically told me to move on etc. Anyway after trying to win her round but to no avail I saw a solicitor about it,and he said as I was an ex prisoner etc it would be difficult to get access,this was 1980,so I decided I'd wait till my son was at an age to make his own mind up. To cut it short he found out who I was and we got in touch on social media ! He is doing well and I'm proud of him, and he knows of my past etc, but it's only been a few months so I'm taking things slowly, and I'm a firm believer in what will be will be. I don't hold any grudges about my ex in what she did, I was a violent thug back then and deserved all what I got, but hopefully given time things may work out for the best ?

Wishing you all the best BBR! Really hope things work out for you.

bringbackrattles · Jan 11, 2021

Houchens Head said:
Wishing you all the best BBR! Really hope things work out for you.

And you !

Houchens Head · Jan 11, 2021

bringbackrattles said:
And you !

Had a great chat earlier. Apparently, she now lives in Cornwall. Not sure exactly where yet. Didn't want to push things. Unbelievably, we had so much in common, even to the point that she was also put in a convent when she was younger, just like me.

bringbackrattles · Jan 11, 2021

Houchens Head said:
Had a great chat earlier. Apparently, she now lives in Cornwall. Not sure exactly where yet. Didn't want to push things. Unbelievably, we had so much in common, even to the point that she was also put in a convent when she was younger, just like me.

I found it all a bit nervy at first. More me I reckon, full of guilt. But got my head together and just wait and see how it develops. Good luck to you Houch,it'll be fine.

Houchens Head · Jan 11, 2021

bringbackrattles said:
I found it all a bit nervy at first. More me I reckon, full of guilt. But got my head together and just wait and see how it develops. Good luck to you Houch,it'll be fine.

I phoned my disabled brother earlier, who's 71 in a few weeks, to tell him that I'd found a long unknown sister. Cried his eyes out over the phone. Really emotional day for me.

Sbarcher · Jan 12, 2021

I am an only child of only children so no brothers sisters aunts uncles cousins. Makes Christmas very simple and no family fallouts!
Also only one child so carrying on the family tradition!

Mcbean · Jan 12, 2021

Love these good news stories - lifts the spirit

I have a example - my Uncle adopted a boy many years ago when he lived in England - they never told the lad and he didn’t find out until both passed on - this guy , my cousin lives in Phoenix US with his family and had some contact with my sisters as they are good at that sort of thing . One of them has looked into our family past and knew how to approach the agencies about his previous family . She wrote to them and a letter was passed on to his-birth mother who was 88 in 2010 so still alive - he was 70 - the mother hid the letter as she didn’t want to know but her grown up children found the letter from my sister and made contact - this lady lived 10 miles from my sister ! Since then she has passed but my cousin was able to visit and meet her as her children convinced her to change her mind and opened his family to another . A good result all round

for me I went to Phoenix some years ago on a bike trip - we arranged to meet my cousin in a hotel who I had never met - he said on the phone - I will recognise you - he did as I look like my father and he came straight up to me and welcomed us - surreal night talking to someone about your own family to someone you have never met - he has the same surname and will carry in the line !

bringbackrattles · Jan 12, 2021

Houchens Head said:
I phoned my disabled brother earlier, who's 71 in a few weeks, to tell him that I'd found a long unknown sister. Cried his eyes out over the phone. Really emotional day for me.

Great story and I can see a happy ending. Life can be strange as we are all finding out in the current crisis. Since moving to my new home from Bell Green I've found out my ex girlfriend, the mother of my estranged son, only lives about a hundred yards away ! She is a nurse and when my late father was in hospital me and my sister went to visit him in Walsgrave hospital. He seemed a bit chirpy even though he had cancer and told me he had the best nurse looking after him. He was always fond of my ex and it was her who my dad called Florence Nightingale on the ward. She came over and although friendly looked embarrassed, and it was a bit uncomfortable for a while. But my dad loved her to bits and said he'd get us back together, much to the annoyance of my then missus ! What a strange life it can be.

Houchens Head · Jan 12, 2021

bringbackrattles said:
Great story and I can see a happy ending. Life can be strange as we are all finding out in the current crisis. Since moving to my new home from Bell Green I've found out my ex girlfriend, the mother of my estranged son, only lives about a hundred yards away ! She is a nurse and when my late father was in hospital me and my sister went to visit him in Walsgrave hospital. He seemed a bit chirpy even though he had cancer and told me he had the best nurse looking after him. He was always fond of my ex and it was her who my dad called Florence Nightingale on the ward. She came over and although friendly looked embarrassed, and it was a bit uncomfortable for a while. But my dad loved her to bits and said he'd get us back together, much to the annoyance of my then missus ! What a strange life it can be.

Brilliant story BBR! Do you still get on? Seems such a shame that people grow up hating exes.

lifeskyblue · Jan 12, 2021

Some great personal stories here. Really uplifting and I hope it all works out well for all.

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LastGarrison · Jan 12, 2021

lifeskyblue said:
Some great personal stories here. Really uplifting and I hope it all works out well for all.

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Completely agree.

Great to hear gents and genuinely hope it all works out well for you.

bringbackrattles · Jan 12, 2021

Houchens Head said:
Brilliant story BBR! Do you still get on? Seems such a shame that people grow up hating exes.

I knew she was going to finish with me on a prison visit. She came to Stafford nick with the baby and my parents after I'd been in for about 4 months. But I'd had a scrap the day before and came off worse and had to sit there with a bashed up face. My mum burst out crying,my dad said that he hoped the other bloke came off worse, and my girlfriend just gave me dirty looks for the whole hour ! Anyway she sent me the dear john letter soon after which I was expecting. But I bumped into her a few years ago in a pub and we got on great, and talked as mature adults. She brought up that visit and said I looked like I'd been in a fight with Mike Tyson. It felt like it too !

Sky Blue Pete · Jan 12, 2021

bringbackrattles said:
Not so much a surprise but a bit similar. Me and an ex girlfriend had a son,and when he was about 8 months old I got sent down for 2 years. She said she would stay with me,but she changed her mind and finished with me after a few months into my sentence. I was expecting it to be honest so just got on with doing my time. When I came out of prison I wanted to see my son and form a relationship,but she said she wanted to bring him up on her own,and got a bit hard and basically told me to move on etc. Anyway after trying to win her round but to no avail I saw a solicitor about it,and he said as I was an ex prisoner etc it would be difficult to get access,this was 1980,so I decided I'd wait till my son was at an age to make his own mind up. To cut it short he found out who I was and we got in touch on social media ! He is doing well and I'm proud of him, and he knows of my past etc, but it's only been a few months so I'm taking things slowly, and I'm a firm believer in what will be will be. I don't hold any grudges about my ex in what she did, I was a violent thug back then and deserved all what I got, but hopefully given time things may work out for the best ?

That’s a great story. Hope it goes well

RedSalmon · Jan 12, 2021

bringbackrattles said:
Not so much a surprise but a bit similar. Me and an ex girlfriend had a son,and when he was about 8 months old I got sent down for 2 years. She said she would stay with me,but she changed her mind and finished with me after a few months into my sentence. I was expecting it to be honest so just got on with doing my time. When I came out of prison I wanted to see my son and form a relationship,but she said she wanted to bring him up on her own,and got a bit hard and basically told me to move on etc. Anyway after trying to win her round but to no avail I saw a solicitor about it,and he said as I was an ex prisoner etc it would be difficult to get access,this was 1980,so I decided I'd wait till my son was at an age to make his own mind up. To cut it short he found out who I was and we got in touch on social media ! He is doing well and I'm proud of him, and he knows of my past etc, but it's only been a few months so I'm taking things slowly, and I'm a firm believer in what will be will be. I don't hold any grudges about my ex in what she did, I was a violent thug back then and deserved all what I got, but hopefully given time things may work out for the best ?

Good luck, and you are right, what will be will be.

clint van damme · Jan 12, 2021

Mcbean said:
Love these good news stories - lifts the spirit

I have a example - my Uncle adopted a boy many years ago when he lived in England - they never told the lad and he didn’t find out until both passed on - this guy , my cousin lives in Phoenix US with his family and had some contact with my sisters as they are good at that sort of thing . One of them has looked into our family past and knew how to approach the agencies about his previous family . She wrote to them and a letter was passed on to his-birth mother who was 88 in 2010 so still alive - he was 70 - the mother hid the letter as she didn’t want to know but her grown up children found the letter from my sister and made contact - this lady lived 10 miles from my sister ! Since then she has passed but my cousin was able to visit and meet her as her children convinced her to change her mind and opened his family to another . A good result all round

for me I went to Phoenix some years ago on a bike trip - we arranged to meet my cousin in a hotel who I had never met - he said on the phone - I will recognise you - he did as I look like my father and he came straight up to me and welcomed us - surreal night talking to someone about your own family to someone you have never met - he has the same surname and will carry in the line !

It's not gazbola is it?!

RedSalmon · Jan 12, 2021

Similar story but not exactly the same. My wife was adopted as a six week old baby, it was never a secret and the parents who adopted her (whom she always refers to as her parents) loved her and cherished her throughout their lives.
After about six years of being married she decided she was going to try and trace her birth mother, she had a bit of information and with that went down to Records House in London (this was before the internet) and spent two full days going through records and cross referencing the information until she had two possible names.
On her behalf I contacted one of the names she had come up with, and to cut a long story short, it turned out to be her birth mother. It turned out she also had a full brother and initially all seemed well, but after a while it became clear her brother had a lot of 'issues' and the discovery of a long lost sister only added to his problems. He actually became quite a pain in the arse to the point where even my wife (who is very mild mannered and see's the best in everyone) was glad to see the back of him.
One positive was that out of it she got to meet her birth Father as well, who turned out to be an absolute gentleman and a truly lovely person. We spent many happy hours in his company (he loved a pint so me and him got on like a house on fire). Sadly he passed away a couple of years ago and to say we were both deeply upset was an understatement, it was a huge blow. Point is we have some fantastic memories of spending time with him and listening to his stories, and we often talk about him.
All in all am so glad she did it.

Houchens Head · Jan 12, 2021

RedSalmon said:
Similar story but not exactly the same. My wife was adopted as a six week old baby, it was never a secret and the parents who adopted her (whom she always refers to as her parents) loved her and cherished her throughout their lives.
After about six years of being married she decided she was going to try and trace her birth mother, she had a bit of information and with that went down to Records House in London (this was before the internet) and spent two full days going through records and cross referencing the information until she had two possible names.
On her behalf I contacted one of the names she had come up with, and to cut a long story short, it turned out to be her birth mother. It turned out she also had a full brother and initially all seemed well, but after a while it became clear her brother had a lot of 'issues' and the discovery of a long lost sister only added to his problems. He actually became quite a pain in the arse to the point where even my wife (who is very mild mannered and see's the best in everyone) was glad to see the back of him.
One positive was that out of it she got to meet her birth Father as well, who turned out to be an absolute gentleman and a truly lovely person. We spent many happy hours in his company (he loved a pint so me and him got on like a house on fire). Sadly he passed away a couple of years ago and to say we were both deeply upset was an understatement, it was a huge blow. Point is we have some fantastic memories of spending time with him and listening to his stories, and we often talk about him.
All in all am so glad she did it.

Superb story Red. I can understand the part about long lost siblings being a pain in the butt, maybe that's down to them really struggling with what has happened. I guess they can be great or pains. I have a half sister who bumped into me years ago. She recognised me straight away (we knew each other when we were really nippers!), and at first, all was brilliant. We went out for drinks, spent lots of time catching up, but then she started to rely on me a bit too much. Always asking if I could give her a lift here and there, phoning me at all hours to talk about her latest boyfriend etc, and as she worked at a solicitors in the city centre, as a cleaner, she finished work at 7pm and would phone me to wait in the pub next door with her until her ex-husband came to take her home. Many times I did this only to realise, I was buying all the drinks (I was on the dole at the time), and she hadn't asked her ex for a lift at all. We'd spend a couple of hours waiting for a non-existent lift! This was the last straw. I put my foot down and told her that enough was enough. I wasn't anyone's fool and don't call me again. Haven't seen her for about 12 or 13 years now. Don't miss her at all. I just think that with my new-found sister it will be different because she lives in Cornwall and won't be on my doorstep every five minutes. Let's hope so, anyway.

rob9872 · Jan 12, 2021

Great stories all - good luck.

Came as a massive surprise to discover that not only was BBR my Dad, but I'm also Houch's sister. Strange old world, but if either of you can lend me a fiver ...

covmark · Jan 12, 2021

Met my real dad after not seeing him since I was a baby. It was about 25 years. Met up with him a few times.
Turns out he was a bellend, and I haven't seen him again for about 12 years now.

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bringbackrattles · Jan 12, 2021

covmark said:
Met my real dad after not seeing him since I was a baby. It was about 25 years. Met up with him a few times.
Turns out he was a bellend, and I haven't seen him again for about 12 years now.

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Not a good ending then.

clint van damme · Jan 12, 2021

covmark said:
Met my real dad after not seeing him since I was a baby. It was about 25 years. Met up with him a few times.
Turns out he was a bellend, and I haven't seen him again for about 12 years now.

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Not quite the heart rendering denouement of some of the other posts mate

covmark · Jan 12, 2021

clint van damme said:
Not quite the heart rendering denouement of some of the other posts mate

Haha true. It was a surprise to me how much of a bellend he was though, and the thread title is Life surprises...

In all seriousness, I'm glad I met him and I met my half siblings, one of which was really nice and we're still in contact. The other seemed really put out that I got in touch.

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Houchens Head · Jan 12, 2021

covmark said:
Haha true. It was a surprise to me how much of a bellend he was though, and the thread title is Life surprises...

In all seriousness, I'm glad I met him and I met my half siblings, one of which was really nice and we're still in contact. The other seemed really put out that I got in touch.

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Like I said in an earlier post, covmark, meeting long lost siblings/parents/cousins can be a brilliant feeling or the worst experience ever. My way of thinking is, if they don't want to be a part of your life, then it's their loss. You've tried your best.

RedSalmon · Jan 12, 2021

Houchens Head said:
Like I said in an earlier post, covmark, meeting long lost siblings/parents/cousins can be a brilliant feeling or the worst experience ever. My way of thinking is, if they don't want to be a part of your life, then it's their loss. You've tried your best.

Agree Houch, in relation to the Misses she also got to meet her cousin who has developed into a sister she never had, and an Aunt who she is also very close to. It's quite ironic really as she has made links with several Aunts and cousins and they all seem to think that her brother is a fucking weirdo. It's strange but responding to your post has brought back quite a few memories, I distinctly remember one Aunt saying to my wife that she was probably lucky to have been adopted or she would have been brought up with her brother and probably ended up with his weird view of the world, it was described as a "lucky escape".

Houchens Head · Jan 13, 2021

Bloody hell! Talk about "life surprises"! Had a phone call from my eldest daughter this morning telling me she's in hospital after having a bloody heart attack on Monday. Jeez! What else can life throw at me?

Sbarcher · Jan 13, 2021

Houchens Head said:
Bloody hell! Talk about "life surprises"! Had a phone call from my eldest daughter this morning telling me she's in hospital after having a bloody heart attack on Monday. Jeez! What else can life throw at me?

My goodness - a bloody strange start to 2021! Let's hope all goes well and she makes a full recovery.
Keep her away from CCFC as we all know the mental health issues this can cause!

Life surprises. (6 Viewers)

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