Job Titles

Discussion in 'Off Topic Chat' started by Houchens Head, Aug 13, 2019.

  1. Houchens Head

    Houchens Head Fairly well known member from Malvern

    Joined:
    Jan 24, 2011
    Messages:
    9,739
    Likes Received:
    5,605
    Location:
    Malvern
    Credit:
    £1,996.19
    Are you in a job where the title sounds really impressive but actually, it's just a job?
    A few I've come across lately...…...
    .
    Bread Scientist – Baker
    Direct Marketing Demigod – Office clerk
    Swiss Army Knife – Jack of all Trades, Master of none.
    Digital Overlord – Website Manager
    Happiness Advocate – HR Worker
    Brand Warrior – Someone who works in Marketing
    Beverage Dissemination Officer - Bartender
    Retail Jedi – Shop Assistant
    And finally, just for BringBackRattles:
    Light Enhancement Engineer – Window Cleaner
    Anyone got any more or was your own position advertised with daft phrasing?
    :D
     
    ccfchoi87 and bringbackrattles like this.
  2. Malaka

    Malaka Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 23, 2014
    Messages:
    1,436
    Likes Received:
    974
    Location:
    Coventry
    Credit:
    £394.31
    Wanker- Prime Minister
     
  3. Gazolba

    Gazolba Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 26, 2013
    Messages:
    7,275
    Likes Received:
    2,737
    Location:
    BBC says 'outside the UK'
    Credit:
    £2,593.94
    Our person in charge of hiring new employees is called The Talent Aquisitions Manager
     
  4. Corrado

    Corrado Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    May 1, 2014
    Messages:
    712
    Likes Received:
    504
    Credit:
    £19.81
    Sandwich Artist - Subway
     
  5. Rich

    Rich Will the real Dale Evans please stand up

    Joined:
    Mar 1, 2009
    Messages:
    6,675
    Likes Received:
    2,885
    Location:
    Ricoh Arena
    Credit:
    £238.80
    I'm a Technical Sales Manager who isn't involved in sales at all.
     
    ccfchoi87 likes this.
  6. OffenhamSkyBlue

    OffenhamSkyBlue Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    May 7, 2015
    Messages:
    1,233
    Likes Received:
    567
    Credit:
    £1,021.86
    That term is pervading the UK workplace as well, Gaz. What about all the talentless wankers they "acquire"?

    But also, the number of jobs that are supposedly "Engineers", when they don't have a clue how to engineer anything. They are technicians or operatives. In Germany, you don't get to call yourself the highly-prized title of "Engineer" until you have a doctorate in engineering!
     
    shmmeee likes this.
  7. bringbackrattles

    bringbackrattles Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Aug 19, 2013
    Messages:
    5,787
    Likes Received:
    3,109
    Credit:
    £2,320.40
    My proper job title Houch is : Pigeon Shit Extractor or : Have A Look At My Gutter While You're Up There Please.
     
  8. Travs

    Travs Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jul 13, 2013
    Messages:
    361
    Likes Received:
    273
    Credit:
    £233.50
    I applied for a job a couple of years back with the impressive title of National Estimating Manager.

    Suffice to say, neither the salary, nor the responsibilities of the role, were in any way related to the impressiveness of the title.
     
    Terry Gibson's perm likes this.
  9. Travs

    Travs Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jul 13, 2013
    Messages:
    361
    Likes Received:
    273
    Credit:
    £233.50
    Have also had this in reverse. When I first started work as a Building Services Engineer/Contracts Engineer, most of my mates thought I was a plumber who had given myself a flash title to make it sound better.

    Also worked for a couple of major oil/petrol companies, who have storage terminals in the area, as a site engineer... most people seemed to think I was working as a pump attendant in a petrol station.
     
  10. Ccfcsj

    Ccfcsj Active Member

    Joined:
    Apr 1, 2011
    Messages:
    282
    Likes Received:
    84
    Credit:
    £189.42
    I am now an IT manager but used have the job title before my promotion as Service and Support Officer - basically an IT jack of all trades.
     
  11. Mcbean

    Mcbean Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jul 17, 2015
    Messages:
    1,652
    Likes Received:
    731
    Credit:
    £426.29
    Unemployed - Ricoh football steward
     
    ccfchoi87 and bezzer like this.
  12. Terry Gibson's perm

    Terry Gibson's perm Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Mar 17, 2014
    Messages:
    11,458
    Likes Received:
    4,073
    Location:
    Nuneaton
    Credit:
    £1,525.39
    Revenue Recovery Operative - I stand around watching parcels going on a belt and adding charges if the customer hasn’t followed the rules.
     
  13. OffenhamSkyBlue

    OffenhamSkyBlue Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    May 7, 2015
    Messages:
    1,233
    Likes Received:
    567
    Credit:
    £1,021.86
    Is that just guessing stuff?
     
    Travs likes this.
  14. Sky_Blue_Daz

    Sky_Blue_Daz Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Mar 20, 2011
    Messages:
    4,132
    Likes Received:
    1,916
    Credit:
    £1,392.07
    Years ago my eldest brother got me a summer job at the Rolls Royce plant in Ansty, he told me I was going to be an industrial hygienist. I interpreted that to be stripping down and cleaning the machinery and was really excited, turned out I was cleaning the toilets in all the shop floors .
     
    djr8369 likes this.
  15. Travs

    Travs Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jul 13, 2013
    Messages:
    361
    Likes Received:
    273
    Credit:
    £233.50
    Effectively it’s quoting for projects/work.
     
  16. eastwoodsdustman

    eastwoodsdustman Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Sep 11, 2011
    Messages:
    3,119
    Likes Received:
    2,072
    Credit:
    £1,251.15
    My current favourite is an internet influencer. Wtf
     
  17. LastGarrison

    LastGarrison Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Mar 25, 2011
    Messages:
    2,859
    Likes Received:
    1,253
    Credit:
    £536.46
    Full Time Mummy
     
  18. OffenhamSkyBlue

    OffenhamSkyBlue Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    May 7, 2015
    Messages:
    1,233
    Likes Received:
    567
    Credit:
    £1,021.86
    Is that OK if you're Egyptian?!
     
  19. Briles

    Briles Member

    Joined:
    Aug 8, 2017
    Messages:
    65
    Likes Received:
    36
    Credit:
    £187.28
  20. LastGarrison

    LastGarrison Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Mar 25, 2011
    Messages:
    2,859
    Likes Received:
    1,253
    Credit:
    £536.46
    Only if you’re in denial.
     
    djr8369 and OffenhamSkyBlue like this.
  21. hill83

    hill83 Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Sep 15, 2008
    Messages:
    12,105
    Likes Received:
    16,386
    Location:
    Coventry
    Credit:
    £7,868.71
    As much as people take the piss out of that, I had my son 3 days a week for the first 3 years as I worked shifts and my wife went back full time, and I'll tell you now. My actual job was easier.
     
  22. hill83

    hill83 Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Sep 15, 2008
    Messages:
    12,105
    Likes Received:
    16,386
    Location:
    Coventry
    Credit:
    £7,868.71
    Easy since he's turned 4 though. And way more of a laugh.
     
  23. clint van damme

    clint van damme Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    May 3, 2015
    Messages:
    12,381
    Likes Received:
    12,772
    Credit:
    £2,226.86
    looking after kids is hard as fuck.
     
    bringbackrattles likes this.
  24. bringbackrattles

    bringbackrattles Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Aug 19, 2013
    Messages:
    5,787
    Likes Received:
    3,109
    Credit:
    £2,320.40
    My youngest son is harder work now than when he was a kid. He's 35 !
     
    clint van damme and hill83 like this.
  25. shmmeee

    shmmeee Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jul 11, 2011
    Messages:
    16,480
    Likes Received:
    12,426
    Location:
    Coventry, United Kingdom, United Kingdom
    Credit:
    £3,808.25
    I was at uni and working a couple of days a week while my daughter was 3 and I was doing school runs, childcare, etc.

    Loved every second of it, but have a new respect for stay at home Mums. Not the ones who have teenage kids tho!
     
  26. Terry Gibson's perm

    Terry Gibson's perm Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Mar 17, 2014
    Messages:
    11,458
    Likes Received:
    4,073
    Location:
    Nuneaton
    Credit:
    £1,525.39
    I work nights and then do the school drop offs in the morning and pick them up after school, but it’s great as I can go to all the awards stuff and sports days
     
    shmmeee likes this.
  27. djr8369

    djr8369 Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jun 9, 2018
    Messages:
    804
    Likes Received:
    384
    Credit:
    £867.08
    As somebody works in engineering ‘engineer’ is just thrown around and it diminishes the job and wider industry. Very frustrating.


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
     
    OffenhamSkyBlue and shmmeee like this.
  28. Gazolba

    Gazolba Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 26, 2013
    Messages:
    7,275
    Likes Received:
    2,737
    Location:
    BBC says 'outside the UK'
    Credit:
    £2,593.94
    My very first job was working behind the counter at the Post Office.
    Our official title was 'Postal Telegraph Officer'.
    I have no idea where the 'Telegraph' came from since I never saw one or used one.
    We were Government employees and subject to the Official Secrets Act.
    When I left, I had to sign a document promising to never reveal any of the very damaging secrets I had learned about stamps and postal orders.
    I might even be commiting a crime by posting this.
     

Share This Page