I went to Church Last Wednesday (1 Viewer)

[Sky_Blue_Daz]

And prayed to god to allow me to win the Lottery, never won.
I went Back on Friday and Prayed to win the Euromillions, Never won.
Went back on the Saturday and said 7 Hail Marys, 7 Our Fathers and Prayed to win the Lottery.
When I come out of Church a Ray of Sunlight Beamed down on me from Heaven and
God's voiced Boomed out ' Meet me halfway Daz! Buy a fuckin Ticket'

 

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[blueflint]

funneeee i may try that :claping hands::claping hands:

 

[rob9872]

For originality, content and wit I score it generously as 1 out of 10. When I first heard it circa 1983 it was usually about a Jewish fella or a Jock.

 

[Sky Blue Sheepy]

I've not heard that... made me smile

 

[ccfc2011]

lol.....

 

[Ernie Machin]

The idea of a God. That made me LOL out loud.

 

[Sky_Blue_Daz]

For originality, content and wit I score it generously as 1 out of 10. When I first heard it circa 1983 it was usually about a Jewish fella or a Jock.

Here's another one.
Theres this fella on his deathbed his wife asks if there is anything he would like before he passes away. With his voice in hushed and whispered tones he aks for some fresh salmon. The wife goes off an prepares his meal after an hour she comes back and gives him a plate, he takes a taste and says Thats Tuna, the wife says yaeh Im saving the salmon for the funeral

 

[ccfc2011]

Do not mix god and football

 

[rob9872]

Much better - I'll give that a 5

 

[ccfc2011]

lol....................

 

[Houchens Head]

Nice one Daz. There's a really good thread on here called Bad Joke Corner. You should contribute to that!