mrtrench
Well-Known Member
I wrote a quiz for Jackie Magazine on how much you like Coventry City. Unfortunately, it seems that Jackie magazine no longer exists... so I tried Cosmopolitan and they told me to come back when I had something more sexy. The editor also said that my quiz was shit but I think she was joking.
So, rather than waste my quiz I’m posting it here for you all to enjoy. Let me know your score so we can find the Coventry City Superfan of the year!
1 How much do you like Coventry City?
2 It’s Saturday afternoon but Coventry City don’t have a game. What do you do?
3 Coventry City are losing a football game by a goal to nil and your favourite player comes on as a substitute. He’s really dishy. He gets into a great goalscoring position close to you. What do you do?
4 It’s the summer hols and you go camping with your guy. He invites you to play football with his mates. What do you do?
5 The new season is approaching but then a fella you’ve fancied for ages asks you on a hot date. What do you do?
6 Coventry City’s hot new striker has moved into a house near yours. How do you attract his attention?
7 You get an invitation to be a cheerleader for Coventry City. What do you say?
8 Coventry City Council asks you to become mayor; however it’s a condition of the job that you smoke 40 fags a day and hate Coventry City. On the other hand, it pays very well. What do you do?
9 Another fantastic Coventry City fan friend of yours, Tony, starts arguing with you about what it’s like to be a teenage girl, even though he’s a 45 year old panel beater with a hairy arse. What happens?
10 Coventry City decides to play the next season in the Dutch League at Ajax’s home ground, in a cunning plan to bankrupt every charity shop in the centre. What do you do?
1 a) 1 b) 2 c) 3 d)4. 2 a) 1 b) 3 c) 2 d) 4 3 a) 4 b) 2 c) 1 d) 3 4 a) 4 b) 3 c) 2 d) 1 5 a) 4 b) 2 c) 1 d) 3 6 a) 2 b) 4 c) 3 d) 1 7 a) 3 b) 1 c) 2 d) 4 8 a) 1 b) 3 c) 2 d) 4 9 a) 1 b) 3 c) 4 d) 2 10 a) 4 b) 3 c) 2 d) 1
Your Score
10 – 15 : You aren’t much of a Coventry City fan – more interested in boys than football!
16-24 : You quite like Coventry City – but if a hunk comes along you may forget all about them.
25 – 34 : Wowsers! You like Coventry City a lot. Just remember that boys are still a priority for you else you’ll end up as an old maid!
35+ You are a real Coventry City fanatic! We think that you will die a virgin: alone in the cold and dark and damp.
So, rather than waste my quiz I’m posting it here for you all to enjoy. Let me know your score so we can find the Coventry City Superfan of the year!
1 How much do you like Coventry City?
- They are OK.
- I quite like them.
- They are nice.
- They are really smashing.
2 It’s Saturday afternoon but Coventry City don’t have a game. What do you do?
- Go and see your guy on a date, it’s no big deal.
- Sit in your bedroom listening to Donny Osmond records to cheer yourself up.
- Go and watch the local rugger team instead – hoorah for Wasps!
- Become all miserable like Morrissey.
3 Coventry City are losing a football game by a goal to nil and your favourite player comes on as a substitute. He’s really dishy. He gets into a great goalscoring position close to you. What do you do?
- Hide your face in your hands so you don’t distract him. Coventry City comes first!
- Flash him a smile in the hope that he notices you as he scores. A hot date may come from this!
- Write your telephone number onto a piece of card and try to distract him.
- Do nothing. This is Coventry City, he’ll probably miss anyway.
4 It’s the summer hols and you go camping with your guy. He invites you to play football with his mates. What do you do?
- Baggsie being Leigh Jenkinson and score lots of goals.
- Say yes but then lounge around in the centre like Keith O’Neill.
- Refuse unless you get a ‘ten bags’ transfer to Aston Villa.
- Refuse to play – you might break a nail!
5 The new season is approaching but then a fella you’ve fancied for ages asks you on a hot date. What do you do?
- Tell him to fuck off. Coventry City comes first!
- Go on the date but listen to Stuart Linnell and Dave Bennett murdering the English language on the radio.
- Say yes and spend 10 hours getting ready.
- Say yes and invite him to the game – two birds with one stone!
6 Coventry City’s hot new striker has moved into a house near yours. How do you attract his attention?
- Don’t bother, he’s not as hunky as the goalie.
- Hang around outside his front door until he gets a restraining order.
- Get drunk and accost him in the pub. Only to find out later that you got the wrong fella and the guy you snogged works down the Recycling Centre.
- Ignore him: you are saving yourself for David Cassidy.
7 You get an invitation to be a cheerleader for Coventry City. What do you say?
- Absolutely! And you wear a micro mini skirt to capture the players’ attention.
- I have to check what I’m doing that day – I think I may be listening to pop music on my tranny.
- Say yes – but only because you can go and watch the game for free.
- Say no because you don’t want to miss the pre-match excitement from the stands
8 Coventry City Council asks you to become mayor; however it’s a condition of the job that you smoke 40 fags a day and hate Coventry City. On the other hand, it pays very well. What do you do?
- Take the job. Who gives a shit about the voters?
- Refuse the job – not only because you like Coventry City but also because you are a socialist and don’t believe in earning lots of money for doing next to nothing apart from opening new ‘World of Sofa’ shops.
- Take the job because you really like fags – especially Embassy Number 1.
- Take the council to the European Court of Human Rights.
9 Another fantastic Coventry City fan friend of yours, Tony, starts arguing with you about what it’s like to be a teenage girl, even though he’s a 45 year old panel beater with a hairy arse. What happens?
- You ignore him because he’s talking shite again.
- You make the mistake of replying and he never shuts up about all the teenage girl expertise he has.
- You distract him by telling him how lovely Coventry City is.
- Accept what he says because you don’t want to upset him.
10 Coventry City decides to play the next season in the Dutch League at Ajax’s home ground, in a cunning plan to bankrupt every charity shop in the centre. What do you do?
- Faithfully attend every game to cheer on the team.
- Go and watch, but try and find a hill so you can watch the game for free (good luck with that in Holland).
- Not one Eurocent more!
- Moan about it on the internet but it makes no difference because you never attend games anyway.
1 a) 1 b) 2 c) 3 d)4. 2 a) 1 b) 3 c) 2 d) 4 3 a) 4 b) 2 c) 1 d) 3 4 a) 4 b) 3 c) 2 d) 1 5 a) 4 b) 2 c) 1 d) 3 6 a) 2 b) 4 c) 3 d) 1 7 a) 3 b) 1 c) 2 d) 4 8 a) 1 b) 3 c) 2 d) 4 9 a) 1 b) 3 c) 4 d) 2 10 a) 4 b) 3 c) 2 d) 1
Your Score
10 – 15 : You aren’t much of a Coventry City fan – more interested in boys than football!
16-24 : You quite like Coventry City – but if a hunk comes along you may forget all about them.
25 – 34 : Wowsers! You like Coventry City a lot. Just remember that boys are still a priority for you else you’ll end up as an old maid!
35+ You are a real Coventry City fanatic! We think that you will die a virgin: alone in the cold and dark and damp.