Haven't got that far yet, Shmmeee. At the moment we are going down the Amicable route.Just got to a point with my ex where informal agreement isn’t working so I’ve requested mediation on custody issues.
Anyone been through it and can tell me what to expect?
I tried it with my ex girlfriend when she stopped my daughter seeing me when I met my now wife. This was 7/8 years ago. We both had an individual meeting with the mediator to get our points across and then should have embarked on a number of joint meetings to agree an action plan.
We actually lasted about 20 minutes in the first meeting before the ex walked out in a flood of crocodile tears. The mediator tried her hardest but my ex just kept on about irrelevant things about me/us rather than the daughter.
The mediator said I should just take her to court as you don’t get anywhere with these types
Ultimately their aim is to agree something to suit all parties but with the kids best interest central. In practice that usually means regular access for Dad provided there’s no drugs/alcoholism/violence etc. involved.
If your ex isn't totally unreasonable it’s definitely worthwhile and in any case you have to do it before you can go through court process. Otherwise the courts will just send you back to mediation.
Anything agreed in mediation isn’t legally binding but very persuasive to the courts. They will write to you both at the end in report format outlining what was agreed (if anything) or whether they recommend it proceeds to court if nothing was agreed.
My experience didn’t involve divorce, purely child custody/access.
PS, after mediation I sat down with a solicitor on a fixed fee basis and they wrote to her with a final warning type wording. That did the trick and it’s all forgotten now.
I don’t envy anyone going through access issues with their children, it’s dreadful and consumes you. But generally it does sort itself out given a bit of time.
Nearly always the bloke who is reasonable aswell. The court will insist you have gone through it before you get to court. I’ve been through it… used a lovely lady in Nuneaton if I recall. Twas a good number of years ago so things have changed I guess. Best of luck mateIm not holding out much hope. Since I got a decent paying job she seems set of breaking the 50;50 we’ve had for years so she can claim child support. But as you say it’s a required step on the way to court.
Just don’t get why people are like this with kids FFS.
Interesting. Any idea what that cost if you don’t mind sharing? Any time lawyers get involved I get scared of the bills lol
Im not holding out much hope. Since I got a decent paying job she seems set of breaking the 50;50 we’ve had for years so she can claim child support. But as you say it’s a required step on the way to court.
Just don’t get why people are like this with kids FFS.
Cromwell close, GloucesterI was a trained mediator with the council, but not for marital issues. It was for neighbourhood disputes, which could get quite hairy at times. Worst case was when a family found out that their next door neighbour's daughter had given her younger brother a 'blow job'. The age of the girl? Just 10 and the brother was 8. Very harrowing case. The neighbours found out through a family member and wanted them moved.
Sorry to hear that mate, it can be incredibly stressful. Probably not what you want to hear but I ended up with the best part of £100K to pay out. When it was all done I was absolutely broke and she had a nice pile of cash.Just got to a point with my ex where informal agreement isn’t working so I’ve requested mediation on custody issues.
Anyone been through it and can tell me what to expect?
Not quite Rob. It was in Courthouse Green, but that's all I can say for obvious reasons. I'd gone on this case to support a female worker who was the case worker. I think we ended up supporting each other.Cromwell close, Gloucester
Slap the fucking bitch.
I am lucky that in my favour, my daughter is 17 right now and will be 18 in June. That takes her out of the equation re custody. So it's just the house and I have already said my wife can have it. But nothing else.
How about a two footer?Slap the fucking bitch.
I will send Warwick Davis round.How about a two footer?
Good luck mate. I’ve lost about £40k so far between debts I was left with and her taking 75% of the equity of the house through fraud and me being a mental mess at the time. She’s threatening future inheritance and pensions as well. Don’t care about all that aside from the fact it’s the kids inheritance she’s taking and she’ll spend it on herself. Grates though.
Divorce law is an absolute joke.
Sorry, was a bit light hearted as I thought it would make Shmeee smile.
Obviously, don't do this.
Shock Nick the misogynist has backtracked.
(This is also a joke)
Through fraud? Care to explain (although feel free not to given this is the public domain).
Its not your fault, that is fraud plain and simple, your were decepted for financial gain. What a bitch.Fairly simple. We agreed to get three valuations and value the house at the average. She said she’s got them and told me a price. I was a mess and didn’t challenge it. Turned out she gave a price 20% below the valuation so she could have that herself.
Only got myself to blame. Doesn’t stop it pissing me off though.
2 footer is a good thought though.
And no, it is absolutely horrible to see caring, good dads who WANT their kids not be able to. It was clearly a lighthearted comment. Good job I didn't suggest a hitman.
Fairly simple. We agreed to get three valuations and value the house at the average. She said she’s got them and told me a price. I was a mess and didn’t challenge it. Turned out she gave a price 20% below the valuation so she could have that herself.
Only got myself to blame. Doesn’t stop it pissing me off though.
Yeah it completely changes people generally. Same with stuff like inheritence etc.Take it that the financials didn’t go down the route of court? Shit one. When it comes to money it’s amazing how people can’t be trusted.
My other half is a legal secretary in Family Law so I’m fucked if anything ever happens of that nature!!
I am lucky that in my favour, my daughter is 17 right now and will be 18 in June. That takes her out of the equation re custody. So it's just the house and I have already said my wife can have it. But nothing else.
It’s mental how people change TBH. We’d even see couples like this when we were married and be all “OMG how awful, I’d never do anything like that”.
People think I’m a weird Batman suit wearing misogynist when I say “get a prenup before you marry”, but it really is the best idea to set it in stone when you still like each other instead of when you hate each other the most.
We use cookies and similar technologies for the following purposes:
Do you accept cookies and these technologies?
We use cookies and similar technologies for the following purposes:
Do you accept cookies and these technologies?