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A Chippy. SISUed. (1 Viewer)

  • Thread starter The CableGuy
  • Start date Apr 9, 2013
Forums New posts
T

The CableGuy

Well-Known Member
  • Apr 9, 2013
  • #1
Chippy Owner: Hi!

Customer: Hi. Fish and Chips please....how much will that be?

Chippy Owner: £4.50

Customer: OK. Yum Yum.

Chippy Owner: Here you go, Sir. That will be £4.50

Customer: Yum Yum.....erm, £2.20?

Chippy Owner: No, £4.50!

Customer: OK, I've had a pay-cut, like 20 seconds ago. Lets make a new agreement, £2.20 yeah?

Chippy Owner: Come again? That will be £4.50!

Customer: Oh please! You're gonna go bust anyway!

Chippy Owner: Wha? What the fu-

Customer: You're not very good at running a chippy, are you?

Chippy Owner: Now wait a-

Customer: You clearly don't care about your customers. You charge an obscene amount of money for Fish & Chips!

Chippy Owner: Sir, you were quite happy to pay £4.50 before your pay cut!

Customer: You just don't get it, do you? I can't afford it! If we can't come to some sort of agreement, I'll have to buy my supper elsewhere.

Chippy Owner: Like, where Sir?

Customer: South Warwickshire. It would be cheaper for me to build my own chippy in say, Warwick, then pay your outrageous, outrageous fee for Fish and Chips!!

Chippy Owner: W-Wh-What? What?!!

Customer: I could then get money for charging customers to park their cars outside the chippy, and maybe get some sponsorship.

Chippy Owner: .........is this April 1st or something?

Customer: That's what I thought, because you haven't even discussed how I should have access to your soft drink revenue.

Chippy Owner: .........with all due respect Sir......you, are on crack!

Customer: Who do you think you're talking to?

Chippy Owner: YOU!

Customer: Actually, you're talking to Customer (Holdings).

Chippy Owner: Oh for fuc....I'm being SISUed, aren't I?

Customer (Holding): You're talking to a non-operational customer with no money for food whatsoever. The customer who entered this shop was Customer (Limited) and he had the initial agreement to pay £4.50.

Chippy Owner: Jesus Wept.

Customer (Holding): Customer (Limited) has gone into Admin. Customer (Holdings) had offered to pay the full commercial market rate to purchase Fish & Chips. The reluctance of the Chippy to agree to a deal, despite on-going attempts by Customer (Holdings) to resolve the situation, has unfortunately meant that my wife and young kids have had a reduced amount of food over the Easter holidays and are now having to eat alternative take-aways.

Chippy Owner: GET OUT OF MY CHIPPY!
 
Q

quinn1971

Well-Known Member
  • Apr 9, 2013
  • #2
The CableGuy said:
Chippy Owner: Hi!

Customer: Hi. Fish and Chips please....how much will that be?

Chippy Owner: £4.50

Customer: OK. Yum Yum.

Chippy Owner: Here you go, Sir. That will be £4.50

Customer: Yum Yum.....erm, £2.20?

Chippy Owner: No, £4.50!

Customer: OK, I've had a pay-cut, like 20 seconds ago. Lets make a new agreement, £2.20 yeah?

Chippy Owner: Come again? That will be £4.50!

Customer: Oh please! You're gonna go bust anyway!

Chippy Owner: Wha? What the fu-

Customer: You're not very good at running a chippy, are you?

Chippy Owner: Now wait a-

Customer: You clearly don't care about your customers. You charge an obscene amount of money for Fish & Chips!

Chippy Owner: Sir, you were quite happy to pay £4.50 before your pay cut!

Customer: You just don't get it, do you? I can't afford it! If we can't come to some sort of agreement, I'll have to buy my supper elsewhere.

Chippy Owner: Like, where Sir?

Customer: South Warwickshire. It would be cheaper for me to build my own chippy in say, Warwick, then pay your outrageous, outrageous fee for Fish and Chips!!

Chippy Owner: W-Wh-What? What?!!

Customer: I could then get money for charging customers to park their cars outside the chippy, and maybe get some sponsorship.

Chippy Owner: .........is this April 1st or something?

Customer: That's what I thought, because you haven't even discussed how I should have access to your soft drink revenue.

Chippy Owner: .........with all due respect Sir......you, are on crack!

Customer: Who do you think you're talking to?

Chippy Owner: YOU!

Customer: Actually, you're talking to Customer (Holdings).

Chippy Owner: Oh for fuc....I'm being SISUed, aren't I?

Customer (Holding): You're talking to a non-operational customer with no money for food whatsoever. The customer who entered this shop was Customer (Limited) and he had the initial agreement to pay £4.50.

Chippy Owner: Jesus Wept.

Customer (Holding): Customer (Limited) has gone into Admin. Customer (Holdings) had offered to pay the full commercial market rate to purchase Fish & Chips. The reluctance of the Chippy to agree to a deal, despite on-going attempts by Customer (Holdings) to resolve the situation, has unfortunately meant that my wife and young kids have had a reduced amount of food over the Easter holidays and are now having to eat alternative take-aways.

Chippy Owner: GET OUT OF MY CHIPPY!
Click to expand...

At last someone can explain what's going on
 

TrueSkyBlueLiam

Member
  • Apr 9, 2013
  • #3
The CableGuy said:
Chippy Owner: Hi!

Customer: Hi. Fish and Chips please....how much will that be?

Chippy Owner: £4.50

Customer: OK. Yum Yum.

Chippy Owner: Here you go, Sir. That will be £4.50

Customer: Yum Yum.....erm, £2.20?

Chippy Owner: No, £4.50!

Customer: OK, I've had a pay-cut, like 20 seconds ago. Lets make a new agreement, £2.20 yeah?

Chippy Owner: Come again? That will be £4.50!

Customer: Oh please! You're gonna go bust anyway!

Chippy Owner: Wha? What the fu-

Customer: You're not very good at running a chippy, are you?

Chippy Owner: Now wait a-

Customer: You clearly don't care about your customers. You charge an obscene amount of money for Fish & Chips!

Chippy Owner: Sir, you were quite happy to pay £4.50 before your pay cut!

Customer: You just don't get it, do you? I can't afford it! If we can't come to some sort of agreement, I'll have to buy my supper elsewhere.

Chippy Owner: Like, where Sir?

Customer: South Warwickshire. It would be cheaper for me to build my own chippy in say, Warwick, then pay your outrageous, outrageous fee for Fish and Chips!!

Chippy Owner: W-Wh-What? What?!!

Customer: I could then get money for charging customers to park their cars outside the chippy, and maybe get some sponsorship.

Chippy Owner: .........is this April 1st or something?

Customer: That's what I thought, because you haven't even discussed how I should have access to your soft drink revenue.

Chippy Owner: .........with all due respect Sir......you, are on crack!

Customer: Who do you think you're talking to?

Chippy Owner: YOU!

Customer: Actually, you're talking to Customer (Holdings).

Chippy Owner: Oh for fuc....I'm being SISUed, aren't I?

Customer (Holding): You're talking to a non-operational customer with no money for food whatsoever. The customer who entered this shop was Customer (Limited) and he had the initial agreement to pay £4.50.

Chippy Owner: Jesus Wept.

Customer (Holding): Customer (Limited) has gone into Admin. Customer (Holdings) had offered to pay the full commercial market rate to purchase Fish & Chips. The reluctance of the Chippy to agree to a deal, despite on-going attempts by Customer (Holdings) to resolve the situation, has unfortunately meant that my wife and young kids have had a reduced amount of food over the Easter holidays and are now having to eat alternative take-aways.

Chippy Owner: GET OUT OF MY CHIPPY!
Click to expand...

Bravo! Love it! Explains what arseholes own our club
 

TheHellion

New Member
  • Apr 9, 2013
  • #4
There was one thing became apparent to me reading this......I now want Fish and chips.....
 

skybluejelly

Well-Known Member
  • Apr 9, 2013
  • #5
Can you tell me what chippy this was ....so I can buy said fish and chips for the nominal sum of £1
 

sw88

Chief Commentator!
  • Apr 9, 2013
  • #6
You have way too much time on your hands
 
C

CCFC PimpRail

New Member
  • Apr 9, 2013
  • #7
Don't forget that some people think the council have a moral and financial obligation to support the chippy so it stays in business, when in fact most residents prefer Pizza, Curry, or a Chinese....
 

Colonel Mustard

New Member
  • Apr 9, 2013
  • #8
Would the chippy owner be more inclined to negotiate if it was the only customer in town?
 
R

RPHunt

New Member
  • Apr 10, 2013
  • #9
Colonel Mustard said:
Would the chippy owner be more inclined to negotiate if it was the only customer in town?
Click to expand...

Or he might decide there were more customers (and more money) to be had if he sold kebabs. Or forget fast food altogether and turn it into a massage parlour.
 
R

RichieGunns

New Member
  • Apr 10, 2013
  • #10
Fantastic CableGuy!

Made me laugh
 
R

ricohman

New Member
  • Apr 10, 2013
  • #11
Very very good
 

Nonleagueherewecome

Well-Known Member
  • Apr 10, 2013
  • #12
The CableGuy said:
Chippy Owner: Hi!

Customer: Hi. Fish and Chips please....how much will that be?

Chippy Owner: £4.50

Customer: OK. Yum Yum.

Chippy Owner: Here you go, Sir. That will be £4.50

Customer: Yum Yum.....erm, £2.20?

Chippy Owner: No, £4.50!

Customer: OK, I've had a pay-cut, like 20 seconds ago. Lets make a new agreement, £2.20 yeah?

Chippy Owner: Come again? That will be £4.50!

Customer: Oh please! You're gonna go bust anyway!

Chippy Owner: Wha? What the fu-

Customer: You're not very good at running a chippy, are you?

Chippy Owner: Now wait a-

Customer: You clearly don't care about your customers. You charge an obscene amount of money for Fish & Chips!

Chippy Owner: Sir, you were quite happy to pay £4.50 before your pay cut!

Customer: You just don't get it, do you? I can't afford it! If we can't come to some sort of agreement, I'll have to buy my supper elsewhere.

Chippy Owner: Like, where Sir?

Customer: South Warwickshire. It would be cheaper for me to build my own chippy in say, Warwick, then pay your outrageous, outrageous fee for Fish and Chips!!

Chippy Owner: W-Wh-What? What?!!

Customer: I could then get money for charging customers to park their cars outside the chippy, and maybe get some sponsorship.

Chippy Owner: .........is this April 1st or something?

Customer: That's what I thought, because you haven't even discussed how I should have access to your soft drink revenue.

Chippy Owner: .........with all due respect Sir......you, are on crack!

Customer: Who do you think you're talking to?

Chippy Owner: YOU!

Customer: Actually, you're talking to Customer (Holdings).

Chippy Owner: Oh for fuc....I'm being SISUed, aren't I?

Customer (Holding): You're talking to a non-operational customer with no money for food whatsoever. The customer who entered this shop was Customer (Limited) and he had the initial agreement to pay £4.50.

Chippy Owner: Jesus Wept.

Customer (Holding): Customer (Limited) has gone into Admin. Customer (Holdings) had offered to pay the full commercial market rate to purchase Fish & Chips. The reluctance of the Chippy to agree to a deal, despite on-going attempts by Customer (Holdings) to resolve the situation, has unfortunately meant that my wife and young kids have had a reduced amount of food over the Easter holidays and are now having to eat alternative take-aways.

Chippy Owner: GET OUT OF MY CHIPPY!
Click to expand...

Ideally played out with these two, only with customer/shop-keep roles reversed: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4yQP3frvrA0
 

Skybluerevolution (Pt2)

New Member
  • Apr 10, 2013
  • #13
Excellent Post.....I have heard that an american is now looking to buy the Chippy, and turn into a McDonalds!!:claping hands:
 
C

cashless

New Member
  • Apr 10, 2013
  • #14
Bet you thought that was funny when you had the idea.
 

coundonskyblue

New Member
  • Apr 10, 2013
  • #15
Were the chips wrapped in headed paper?
 

ccfcdan

New Member
  • Apr 10, 2013
  • #16
This has brightened up my morning, thanks for cheering me up!
 

blueflint

Well-Known Member
  • Apr 10, 2013
  • #17
best crack yet regarding our position which could be better we may sell more chips then
 

ccfcway

Well-Known Member
  • Apr 10, 2013
  • #18
does the chip wrapper have a health and safety certificate ?
 

torchomatic

Well-Known Member
  • Apr 10, 2013
  • #19
Chippy Owner: Hi

Customer: Hi

Chippy Owner: What can I get you?

Customer: Er....fish and chips, please?

Chippy Owner: Salt and vinegar?

Customer: Please

Chippy Owner: Come in here often?

Customer: No, not really. Once a week. Two sometimes.

Chippy Owner: Oh right. OK, fish and chips. That will be £10K please?

Customer: What?! That can't be correct?!

Chippy Owner: Oh, sorry. Silly me. There is also a charge of £25K for coming into the shop and standing there.

Customer: You're joking, right?

Chippy Owner: Nope. There's a sign on the door. You knew the costs when you walked in. Come on, pay up. I'm charging you this in your best interests. I'm only thinking of you. If you can't pay then there's plenty of other customers who will. We are really busy you know.

Customer: Well, I'm really hungry. So I have no choice. Here's your £10K. About the £25K, that's not bad for fish and chips once a week, sometimes twice. You've got a deal.

Chippy Owner: Well, actually you pay that £25K a week whether you come into the shop or not. That's the deal. Remember what I said, there are plenty of other customers willing to come in and give us that amount. We are really busy you know.
 
Last edited: Apr 10, 2013

ccfcway

Well-Known Member
  • Apr 10, 2013
  • #20
didnt the customer do due diligence on the chip shop 1st, or was it a total surprise that fish and chips was £10k
 

torchomatic

Well-Known Member
  • Apr 10, 2013
  • #21
The chip shop owner knew the customer was having a hard time financially so he decided to take advantage as there weren't any other potential customers around

ccfcway said:
didnt the customer do due diligence on the chip shop 1st, or was it a total surprise that fish and chips was £10k
Click to expand...
 

ccfcway

Well-Known Member
  • Apr 10, 2013
  • #22
torchomatic said:
The chip shop owner knew the customer was having a hard time financially so he decided to take advantage as there weren't any other potential customers around
Click to expand...

wasnt there a KFC round the corner ?
 
D

dadgad

Well-Known Member
  • Apr 10, 2013
  • #23
Like many rehashed recipes/jokes/yarns the original is best.
 

covcity4life

Well-Known Member
  • Apr 10, 2013
  • #24
the cableguy said:
chippy owner: Hi!

Customer: Hi. Fish and chips please....how much will that be?

Chippy owner: £4.50

customer: Ok. Yum yum.

Chippy owner: Here you go, sir. That will be £4.50

customer: Yum yum.....erm, £2.20?

Chippy owner: No, £4.50!

Customer: Ok, i've had a pay-cut, like 20 seconds ago. Lets make a new agreement, £2.20 yeah?

Chippy owner: Come again? That will be £4.50!

Customer: Oh please! You're gonna go bust anyway!

Chippy owner: Wha? What the fu-

customer: You're not very good at running a chippy, are you?

Chippy owner: Now wait a-

customer: You clearly don't care about your customers. You charge an obscene amount of money for fish & chips!

Chippy owner: Sir, you were quite happy to pay £4.50 before your pay cut!

Customer: You just don't get it, do you? i can't afford it! if we can't come to some sort of agreement, i'll have to buy my supper elsewhere.

Chippy owner: Like, where sir?

Customer: South warwickshire. It would be cheaper for me to build my own chippy in say, warwick, then pay your outrageous, outrageous fee for fish and chips!!

Chippy owner: W-wh-what? What?!!

customer: I could then get money for charging customers to park their cars outside the chippy, and maybe get some sponsorship.

Chippy owner: .........is this april 1st or something?

Customer: That's what i thought, because you haven't even discussed how i should have access to your soft drink revenue.

Chippy owner: .........with all due respect sir......you, are on crack!

Customer: Who do you think you're talking to?

Chippy owner: You!

Customer: Actually, you're talking to customer (holdings).

Chippy owner: Oh for fuc....i'm being sisued, aren't i?

Customer (holding): You're talking to a non-operational customer with no money for food whatsoever. The customer who entered this shop was customer (limited) and he had the initial agreement to pay £4.50.

Chippy owner: Jesus wept.

Customer (holding): Customer (limited) has gone into admin. Customer (holdings) had offered to pay the full commercial market rate to purchase fish & chips. The reluctance of the chippy to agree to a deal, despite on-going attempts by customer (holdings) to resolve the situation, has unfortunately meant that my wife and young kids have had a reduced amount of food over the easter holidays and are now having to eat alternative take-aways.

Chippy owner: Get out of my chippy!
Click to expand...

get a job!!!!
 
B

_brian_

Well-Known Member
  • Apr 10, 2013
  • #25
Is this something that really happened or did The CableGuy make this up?!?!
 

covcity4life

Well-Known Member
  • Apr 10, 2013
  • #26
think OP was trying to be funny....and failed.
 
R

RoboCCFC90

Well-Known Member
  • Apr 10, 2013
  • #27
_brian_ said:
Is this something that really happened or did The CableGuy make this up?!?!
Click to expand...

It's the reason why TF has been so quiet lately!
 
B

_brian_

Well-Known Member
  • Apr 10, 2013
  • #28
This is reminding me of one of my favourite jokes of all time!Did you hear about the fight in the chippy last night? The fish got beaten up!!! LOL!
 

Nick

Administrator
  • Apr 10, 2013
  • #29
_brian_ said:
This is reminding me of one of my favourite jokes of all time!Did you hear about the fight in the chippy last night? The fish got beaten up!!! LOL!
Click to expand...

That doesn't make sense? Isn't it the fish got battered?
 

Grendel

Well-Known Member
  • Apr 10, 2013
  • #30
_brian_ said:
This is reminding me of one of my favourite jokes of all time!Did you hear about the fight in the chippy last night? The fish got beaten up!!! LOL!
Click to expand...

I wouldn't give up the day job.
 

James Smith

Well-Known Member
  • Apr 10, 2013
  • #31
TrueSkyBlueLiam said:
Bravo! Love it! Explains what arseholes own our club
Click to expand...
+1 to that I'd do that for lunch but I've brought some in.
 

Sky Blue Kid

Well-Known Member
  • Apr 10, 2013
  • #32
covcity4life said:
think OP was trying to be funny....and failed.
Click to expand...




Think you and a couple of others have no sense of comedy mate. It was so funny that Torchy had to try and twist it(As he usually tries to do....Monaco Grand Prix once again springs to mind) in favour of SISU!:facepalm:
 

cathedraltospare

Member
  • Apr 10, 2013
  • #33
this is one of the best posts I've ever read on here. Hilarious, creative and accurate.
 

torchomatic

Well-Known Member
  • Apr 10, 2013
  • #34
IN favour of Coventry City. The team I support. I don't support SISU or ACL.

Sky Blue Kid said:
Think you and a couple of others have no sense of comedy mate. It was so funny that Torchy had to try and twist it(As he usually tries to do....Monaco Grand Prix once again springs to mind) in favour of SISU!:facepalm:
Click to expand...
 

Colonel Mustard

New Member
  • Apr 10, 2013
  • #35
cathedraltospare said:
this is one of the best posts I've ever read on here. Hilarious, creative and accurate.
Click to expand...

It may be many of the above, but accurate? Please.
 
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