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The May 20 party scandal is much more harmful to the government - and the PM specifically - and its chances of winning another election. Why would they try to cover up a less damaging story with a more damaging one?

Shambolic as it may be, it's a huge deal to the fans of the countries who are playing. The fact that teams like Watford think it should be treated like an afterthought is pretty disrespectful. A better standard of tournament in Africa will ultimately improve the standard of the game that we get...

The idea that this party scandal is intended as a distraction from something else would be like trying to distract from your own fart by loudly and publicly shitting yourself instead.

When did everything become 'shithousery'?

This was his only option that doesn't involve admitting he lied and/or broke the law, so it was inevitable he'd say something like this. His best hope is that the public's attention has moved on by the time Sue Grey's report drops in a few weeks from now (or that the report is a total fudge) but...

Not only does there appear to be an explosive device in that picture, there's also a tiny Mandalorian hiding in the top left corner - maybe the bounty hunters can succeed where the police have failed so far.

The false positives thing doesn't make sense, but I'm still not sure why they'd go to all this trouble faking tests for the sake of the Carabao Cup and then essentially admit it afterwards?

I think we're all just desperate for someone to come on TV and declare the whole thing is over - I'm definitely guilty of letting myself get excited that way about 'Freedom Day' etc. Reality is that there isn't going to be that one moment where we declare victory over COVID.

Rangers - the sectarian/political stuff surrounding both the Glasgow teams is all bullshit, and I absolutely don't have a dog in the fight, but for some weird reason I lean towards wanting them to do better than Celtic? No idea why. Arsenal - awful fans, unlikeable players and they've obviously...

I'm guessing it's not that easy to knock someone out with poisoned food without it being obvious. Either way - it's the kind of risk they want to avoid taking so long as they still think a peaceful outcome is possible.

The aim is to build a rapport with the suspect in the hope that the situation can be de-escalated peacefully. Sending in food is one way to build that trust; poisoning said food would likely see things turn hostile very quickly.

Wilson seems to think so: Coventry City's Ben Wilson given boss 'massive' selection headache

If the optimum cup draw is a team that a) people care about b) people will show up to watch and c) we can likely beat, Southampton don't rate too highly on either scale. That being said - didn't realise how quick you can get there on the train! Might go after all...

About as bad a draw as we could possibly get. I was quite excited for the first 45 seconds of the draw though.

Maybe he’s not that good?

No of course not - I’m not calling for anyone’s head, just pointing out he’s been a bust so far. He’s not a bad player for being injured, but he’s not a more affordable or valuable one either.

I think he was fine, but you can’t be considered a good signing if you can’t stay on the pitch.

Hope Tavares plays and runs really, really fast.