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Trying to replace the locking bit on a hanging light fitting when you put on a shade. Just moved into a new house and they are a nightmare especially if you are trying to hold a heavy shade. Just make the thread coarser so it starts easier.

Great stuff. You will soon be able to take the knee.

Dropped into bottom half.

Took his finger off the buzzer.... Didn't realise his house was used for the TV series Ghosts.

Just watched a programme on Sky arts- Rockin'1000 - the biggest rock band in the world. Really good. If you've got a couple of hours to spare this is their concert in paris (you can skip the 1st 12 minutes).

Ticket for Euromillions tonight then!

The Outpost on Prime. Probably the best modern war film I’ve seen.

My favourite word today!

No just keeps the status quo, does not add improvement to the team.

Our late daughter was mad about owls. She used to collect their regurgitations, rinse them out and find out about their diet from the bones which were then left. Amazing that they bring the waste backup rather than shit it out.

It’s time to move on my programmes. Mainly City but also old Internationals and cup finals. I do not want them to go to a dealer so happy to pass to a genuine City fan. Happy to give away for free.

Pannini?

Bravo!

Born in Co Durham and parents moved to Leamington when I was a nipper. Started watching City when I was 8 or 9. Now live just North of Oxford. Moving this week but just up the road.

There were piles of complaint forms.

No, but felt pretty flushed.

MOTO Sevices. Had to stop on way to Hull yesterday for a crap. The loo paper is so thin you can see you hand through it and about wide enough just to wipe a baby's arse. Come on, you charge a bloody fortune to eat but can't afford a decent arse wipe.

Sounds like you are being led astray.

A few years ago I tried that Ali for weight loss. It keeps the fat in suspension and you shit out globules of pure fat oil. The number of times I tried to sneak out a quiet one only to find a skiddy mess in my pants!

Jamie Vincent. Used to watch him playing for Bournemouth. Only in his 40s.