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The lady I worked with was a lot more cruel. I would always call this John back, but she would revel in stuff. There was another gullible fella called Charlie. There was his office, then a run of corridor and then another office about 10 metres down. He was a very keen to please and he would...

You feel sorry for blokes like that, but you just can't help yourself can you! I used to be the wages and accounts clerk at British Coal many moons ago and every Thursday anyone who was paid in cash had to come and collect their wage packet from my office. It was my job to check the employees...

You sound like my wife, though the figure you mention is much higher in her case.

Yeah, but this of course was Boxing Day itself wasn't it. :)

I was there, but I honestly don't remember anything up on the scoreboard, or any Wallace overhead kick. I just remember it being a great game and Blyth saving that penalty. Best of all, it was Boxing Day so made it the perfect Christmas present. :)

Yep, did the long weight, the tartan paint, the left handed spanner, the skirting board ladder, the box of air etc.

I remember telling the feisty French girl who had recently joined that 'arse' was pronounced 'horse' so every time something went wrong and she had to tell an employee off she would say 'I am going to kick his horse,' or say 'You're a horse hole.' Didn't quite work though sometimes, like when...

In the 2006 tournament with Beckham and Owen and Gerrard and Lampard and Neville and Ashley Cole and Carrick and Rooney and Campbell and Ferdinand, we blustered and stuttered and were not convincing at all, drawing with Sweden, only beating Paraguay 1-0 and flattering to deceive against Trinidad...

But we are talking about different things, I think. I think we are an average team. Think a lot of the talk is of the players not being good enough. I am saying with the players we have we should be doing better as a team than we are. I know our qualifying group wasn't strong, but we won every...

Why would you do that if you are a Wasps fan?

Sorry. I must be a Wasps fan. I also don't recall anything about Wallace's goal or anything flashed up on the scoreboard. I am now thinking I couldn't have been there. And why the 1,645th time? Tad worrying that you are counting. Is it from a dungeon and with you scratching notches on the...

Well there you go. Infighting and disagreements within the coaching staff. Says it all really.

We had Ericksson when we had some really good players in Beckham and Scholes and Gerrard and Owen and Ferdinand and Carrick and Ashley Cole and Campbell and Rooney and Lampard and Gary Neville, yet we went ultra defensive at times, trying to hold on to leads and defending far too deep. Wrong...

Was it 'Penalty my arse!'

Yep and we keep getting it wrong and keep picking individuals rather than a team.

Think I mentioned it before on here some time back. The one that springs to mind is when we used to have a tea trolley come round at our offices in a job way back. Top shelf was a tea and coffee pot and second shelf was a selection of biscuits and chocolate bars. I was still living at home and...

He did indeed. Fab save too it was. Dived to his right I think. I was standing in the West End.

Boxing Day. Really cold. I wore a yellow turtle neck and a parka. What did you wear?

We WERE really bad. I don't believe for a single second we ARE really bad. Wrong tactics, formations, players out of position, players not fit, players out of form. Had we sorted all that out we could have easily gone further in this competition without doubt.

Couldn't agree more, Stu. Exactly what I have been saying. It is all about teams, not individuals.