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I am always in the ground by 2.20pm and I don't sit near anyone, so there is hardly ever any conversation to be had, so well done for getting your facts completely wrong. Maybe Jesus will forgive you. My row and the one in front and behind (well several rows in both blocks 19 and 20) are just...

6am? We will be all out by then and probably be following on.

And our home performances have left the crowds not wanting to return.

Not really. It's just a severed ear we found in the road moments after we thought we hit something in the dark. Never ever found the rest of the body.

Yeah, don't mind so much on the radio, but really annoys me her adjusting the heating level and the direction of the heating and the pulling shut or opening the sunroof and the switching the rear window heater on and off and the wipers too etc. Never do it when she's driving, apart from, like...

The missus fiddling with the dashboard controls while I am driving. Anyone elses partner do that? When my wife, or any girlfriend has been driving I have always left everything to them. Thought that's the sort of unwritten law. You drive you control the car. But my wife gets in and as I am...

There's a stadium (in Germany I believe) that has dual colour seating where the seats are just flipped and reversed between two colours dependant on who is playing there.

My life is a series of cat naps.

Exactly.

If that's your criteria we need a new squad.

And now we are the Nearly Extinct Dodo's.

Major £1.5m plans for Coventry Rugby could start as early as next year

Must be really deflating though this, despite all the painting of positives of some pundits. Bottom line is no-one got a century, we had yet another batting collapse and we lost by 10 wickets. If anyone told you all that before the game you'd be pretty downhearted wouldn't you. Need to dust...

I hate all the singing. If you want to sing, you go ahead, but stick to blocks 14-17 and don't be coming over bringing that kind of shit to block 20 and waking me up during the game.

Scrums need a complete rethink. The amount of times they reset in some games is ridiculous.

That's okay, Dale Evans will pay.

We wore black 1890-1898, then 1934-37 and then 1972-75

Yeah, for sure. I would just ignore it and concentrate on the game, but I wouldn't be overly impressed at all. Not saying it's true, but if they WERE to change then black would be the ideal colour as it would be representative of both clubs.

Well that's my kind of thinking too. Get in to bed with Wasps, bide our time, take over the stadium, kick Wasps out and let them bugger off with their tail between their legs. Win win, though we would have to stomach working with them for a while. I would take that if it resulted in them...