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You have to admire gallows humour. Just seen a bunch of Grimsby fans merrily singing along. Might have got the lyrics slightly wrong but it was something along the lines of ... 'Doesn't matter who we play, We lost last week and we'll lose today.' :)

Just say you went out to get a pint of milk.

Hope she is better soon. Good luck with it all :)

We could always stick him in a wheelchair and wheel him round the touchline to the delight of the adoring fans at half time.

Yep. Just stick them on a desert island somewhere. They would surely just end up finding little nuances of disagreement between themselves and end up carrying out terrorist attacks on each other.

She used to be. Now she's looking quite haggard.

I've only ever had one wife and have never loved any of them.

Ah! So that's why no-one comes round my house anymore.

If every team played that way the crowds would drop like a stone across the country. 'no-one will watch' was obviously a figure of speech.

Yeah, you usually do and that's got absolutely nowt to do with football. ;)

My tulips are going to wilt.

Jumping the gun a bit ( completely against my style), but if we can win tomorrow, there are some very juicy fixtures to be had next Friday. Obviously we have a tough game ourselves, but there is the potential there to make up some points on teams. Lincoln v Exeter Mansfield v Accrington...

No problems. I will have the wife lubed up for you.

Yeah. Loved it. So many threads going all at the same time. Very clever and thoroughly entertaining.

I remember most of it, but am going to watch again anyway.

Errmmm...'I would be very surprised if the idiots WEREN'T part of that number.' ;)

I told you to keep that schtum!!! Grrr!!!!!! Bleedin instantrussianbrides.com!!!!!

A morale boosting virtual victory.

Clarke has no turning ability, so if players run at him with pace and twist and turn, he usually ends up on his backside or blowing out his cheeks.

If they are doing the exact same job though then surely they should be getting paid the same amount of money.