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Come to the conclusion that in life you just like snapping people in two.

Incredible! It's on par with with Maria's press secretary saying to the press interviewer 'Ms Carey doesn't do stairs!'

Bloody hell!! Is Neymar really saying to the ref 'Don't touch me?'

I beleived that at the start anyway.

Isn't that like exchanging a Binatone for a Bose?

If he spat he really deserves to be off.

Don't think you are allowed to say Black Jacks anymore, Wingy.

It truly does, doesn't it. Really weird, because the gap in time between the end of season and onset of the new usually seems an age.

I spent the first 6 years of my life licking the mould off the kitchen walls. If we were really good our mum would roast us some tree bark and we would wash it down with wood pigeon shit and toilet bowl water.

I don't know about others, but when he plays well I praise him and when he plays badly I criticise him. He's had a lot of poor games for England.

They should implement that in life for married couples, so you know when your partner is having an affair.

Isn't that Bassett rather than Barrett? Bassett - sweets, Barrett - homes. That's how I remember anyway. ;)

Because they are incredibly sad?

Saltzburg.

Surprised there wasn't to be honest, it was very cramped onboard. I think someone did threaten to ram an ice cube up someone's nostirl, so it was a bit touch and go.

Anyone else think that Neymar could be the Brazilian Pele?

Now you're just being childish.

Huh? We are saying that Graham Oakley is still alive, but Graham Oakey is dead?

I saw Kevin Whately at Coventry Airport, which seemed rather odd, as it was a budget flight we were all getting on.

Either that or really go all guns on the lubricant, as she is now 88.