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Years of old-school Gran Turismo led me to always coo in awe at the Dodge Viper (with racing stripe only, the regular version might as well be a shopping trolley. pah). 10 minutes with one and I'd have wrapped it round a tree, guaranteed.

(Also, take a flask and have a nip any time he starts a sentence with 'listen', you'll be hammered before you know it. Same when Roy Keane's on TV)

I think it's definitely a good idea to arrange in order of importance, as there's no way even a quarter of those would be addressed with all the waxing lyrical and 'Listen...' Tim'll be breaking out.

If they do buy the land and yet somehow find themselves no longer in charge, they could just sell to Costa Coffee or Tesco, who will build on any spare plot of land they can find. Look behind you now, 50% chance they're knocking up a new shop.

Rocket powered car, parked outside my solid gold house.

Check the left wing

I'd love us to wear a pink kit, although you have to be careful with the shade. Palermo cut a dash rarely seen in football, whereas Juventus had one the other year that'd blind a pirate.

He seems a dick at times, but then all the stuff about helping kids in Sierra Leone out of his own pocket makes him more a pantomime villain than one of your evil no redeeming feature types.

Breen would be in a completely different team. He'd wear number one. And then at number two, etc

'Hey guysh, my earsh are burning'

I'd have Froggatt wide left in that team, keep Ndlovu to come on second half and bamboozle some weary defenders. Get Huckerby on too, they won't know what's hit them (apart from a number of offside decisions)

It took Spurs nearly 30 years to copy us and wear brown (the picture doesn't do the colour justice) Rumour has it that Ibrahimovic only joined PSG after seeing that they once too sported the colour of fashion-forward sides the world over. He was set to join us for the same reason, but...

They've already said that it doesn't have to be set in stone and they can work around it, as was mentioned when you made the thread saying the same.

If our board applied a similar liberal application of numeracy over the years as some people do with the definition of 'one' you can see why we're up the shit.

I see very little in a 37-year old centre back that suggests he should be moving up the divisions.

That plan gets a bit complicated if we have any home games scheduled on a Monday, mind you.

The brown kit is a solid colour with some white trim. That alone makes it far better than most of the 90s jazzy monstrosities in that list, and far more stylish than a lot of other kits we've had. We were basically ahead of our time with that one.

So our new ground's going to be in the Cayman Islands? I could get on board with that.

The exclamation points sell it to me.

Pah, no commitment in today's cross-dressers.