Joe King
Fairly well known member from Malvern
Thanks Otis.
Need support lads (3 Viewers)
- Thread starter Joe King
- Start date
StrettoBoy
Well-Known Member
Thanks for the update Baz. I'm sorry it's so tough for you.
Just a thought. Is there a support group near you for the friends and family of people who are suffering in the same way as your wife is? I appreciate that it might not be your thing but sometimes it can help to talk things through with people who can truly understand what's it's like. A friend of mine joined such a group a few years ago. He said one of the best things about it was that, because everyone there was in the same boat, it was the only place that they could laugh about some of the funny things their family member got up to without feeling guilty. Obviously they were laughing at the situation, not the family member. Laughter is the best medicine and all that.
I continue to send you and Wendy my very best thoughts and prayers.
Keith
Just a thought. Is there a support group near you for the friends and family of people who are suffering in the same way as your wife is? I appreciate that it might not be your thing but sometimes it can help to talk things through with people who can truly understand what's it's like. A friend of mine joined such a group a few years ago. He said one of the best things about it was that, because everyone there was in the same boat, it was the only place that they could laugh about some of the funny things their family member got up to without feeling guilty. Obviously they were laughing at the situation, not the family member. Laughter is the best medicine and all that.
I continue to send you and Wendy my very best thoughts and prayers.
Keith
Mcbean
Well-Known Member
Baz I have little experience of this debilitating condition apart from a late friend who was 86 if I visited it seemed only right to go along with what he was talking about and asking what else he should consider in his quest which if it promoted his memory recall was a good thing - keep on trucking 
Joe King
Fairly well known member from Malvern
Smashing post Keith. Thank you. I have great neighbours very close by and they're all very supportive. Incidentally, my phone rang at 5am this morning. Woke me up, and I answered it. It was my wife. She'd let herself out and gone wandering up the road. She said she was going to see Phoebe, our close friend and neighbour. Sad thing is, Phoebe died 18 months ago. Wendy (wife) said Phoebe had phoned her and said to go round. Then she got lost. 10 minutes later, she came wandering back in with her handbag and a shopping bag she'd filled with junk!Thanks for the update Baz. I'm sorry it's so tough for you.
Just a thought. Is there a support group near you for the friends and family of people who are suffering in the same way as your wife is? I appreciate that it might not be your thing but sometimes it can help to talk things through with people who can truly understand what's it's like. A friend of mine joined such a group a few years ago. He said one of the best things about it was that, because everyone there was in the same boat, it was the only place that they could laugh about some of the funny things their family member got up to without feeling guilty. Obviously they were laughing at the situation, not the family member. Laughter is the best medicine and all that.
I continue to send you and Wendy my very best thoughts and prayers.
Keith
Anyway, I've put hr back to bed for a couple of hours, which doesn't help her sleep pattern, but what else do I do?
StrettoBoy
Well-Known Member
I'm so sorry Baz, what a worry for you. It's good that you have such thoughtful neighbours.
You are clearly doing all you can for Wendy. I'm full of admiration for you.
Keith
You are clearly doing all you can for Wendy. I'm full of admiration for you.
Keith
torchomatic
Well-Known Member
Only just seen this. Thoughts are with you and Wendy, Baz.
Skyblueweeman
Well-Known Member
Joe King
Fairly well known member from Malvern
Thanks SBW. It's been a struggle, but although she'll never get back to her old self, she's certainly a whole lot better. As for me, I'm still coping, but as the wedding vows says, "....in sickness and in health..", and I will always abide by that. I'm just knackered every day, but that's what husbands do.
I also have my older brother (76), in a care home in Stratford. I try to get over to see him when I can, but it means leaving my missus on her own for 3+ hours, as it's an hour each way from Malvern., so can't visit as often as I'd like. But he understands. This was my brother last Friday on his 76th birthday. Staff baked him a cake!
Attachments
Sky Blue Pete
Well-Known Member
Only just seen this too
Thinking of you both xx
Skyblueweeman
Well-Known Member
You seem to be doing an admirable job mate. I'm sure it's really tough for you but keep doing what you're doing and being there for both of them like you are. Not all heroes wear capes
Joe King
Fairly well known member from Malvern
Aw, thanks SBW, although I've never considered myself a hero! Just an old husband caring for his older wife! Thanks to absolutely everyone for your incredible support! It's made me feel very humble but thankful that so many understand just what I'm going through. Thank you all again. The Sky Blue Army come through again! X x x xYou seem to be doing an admirable job mate. I'm sure it's really tough for you but keep doing what you're doing and being there for both of them like you are. Not all heroes wear capes
Otis
Well-Known Member
Hang in there. Seems like you are doing a fantastic, but tiring job.
I had my dad who had dementia, but I was only going to see him and look after him for a few hours a day. With you there is no let up is there.
Thoughts are with you and I wish the very best for your wife and brother.
You're clearly doing a grand job.
Skyblueweeman
Well-Known Member
Do you know what mate, life can be proper shit at times and you need to take the rough with the smooth. That's why the memories and good times are so important - so you can count on them when going through these tough times.
We had some bad news yesterday. One of my 4yr old daughters nursery friends was watching TV with his dad on Sunday night and the dads heart just stopped. They were at his grandparents house so his grandparents took him out of the room whilst an ambulance was called. He died there and then. He was such a lovely bloke. Gentle giant Pompey fan. We've literally got a kids party every other weekend and when it's my turn to take my daughter, I'd sit with this dad, 'chew the fat' and talk about all things football. He and the kids mum were seperated but on good terms. She's devasted...worried about how to raise the poor kid with just one parent and worried about finances.
My wife and I and about 6 other families are rallying around her and the kid to make sure she's got all the support she could possibly need from arranging nursery drop offs/pick ups, helping with cooking, taking them on days out when they're ready and covering some of her finances until she's ready.
F*&king heartbreaking. Me and Mrs WM were in tears last night just thinking about that poor kid and his dad, a great man, literally dying next to him. I'm proper gutted even though he wasn't my best mate or anything.
Sorry...didn't mean to make this about me but the last 24hrs has made me realise how precious life is. You're going through a tough time HH and I know your wife will be appreciating all you're doing for her. Especially as you've got your brother to think of as well. And of top of that, Cov aren't exactly giving us anything to cheer about at the minute ;-)
Stick in there man...give her an extra cuddle today. Life can throw awful curveballs - we need to enjoy and make the most of the simple things in life.
Here if you ever need a chat man
WM x
Joe King
Fairly well known member from Malvern
Thanks Otis.Hang in there. Seems like you are doing a fantastic, but tiring job.
I had my dad who had dementia, but I was only going to see him and look after him for a few hours a day. With you there is no let up is there.
Thoughts are with you and I wish the very best for your wife and brother.
You're clearly doing a grand job.
Once again, smashing post SWM, obviously not about the poor chap who's passed away. That's extremely sad news. When I was a steward at HR, I became great friends with another steward. He was the nicest, kindest and funniest guy you could wish to meet. About 2 or 3 years after we got to know each other, we held a surprise 40th birthday do for him. I'd videoed the event for him and said I'd transfer it to dvd so he could view it later. A day or two later, his wife phoned to say he was in Walsgrave with bad stomach pains. I said I'd go up the next night to visit. When me and the wife got there, it was confirmed to us he had stomach cancer. I was devastated. But my mate just said, "Can we go outside for a ciggie?" I was shocked and said, "You've never smoked! Why now?" He just laughed and said, "Well, it ain't gonna kill now, is it?" That's the sort of bloke he was. He was just 40 and died a few days later. He left behind two young lads aged 11 and 13. They've both grown into smashing young men, taking after their dad. That was back in the mid 90's. I still miss him.
I could go on and on about the shit I've had in my life, starting in the early 50's when a toddler, but like you and lots on here say, you have to keep strong. I don't want to make this thread all doom and gloom about me, but I'm happy to chat privately.
I've mentioned before on here about my autobiography. I wrote it as a sort of record of my shitty upbringing.
Once again I can't thank you and everyone else on here who've been so supportive lately.
Bless you all.
Baz x x