Are you happy (1 Viewer)

What a great thread. Just want to reiterate what others have said that’s it’s great people are opening up, especially a bunch of what I assume are primarily men. As others have said wouldn’t have happened a few years ago (I wonder if there was ever a simulator thread on GMK?).

I’ve had a few ups and downs (mild anxiety as a teen, I think a fairly severe case of depression which I hid at the time and looking back should have had help with and puzzling over if I was just an introvert or on the spectrum and how to deal with that) so I feel I can relate but my issues seem trifling compared to the experiences of some on here.

Many of you have shown a lot of strength and resolve to come through and be the people they are today. Hopefully they’re an inspiration to those currently struggling with their own issues.

As others have said, a routine, meditation, exercise and healthy eating can do a lot to help but don’t be afraid to tell a loved one or seek professional help if you need it. You wouldn’t ignore a broken arm.


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Gazolba said:

Why all this talk about medication? That should be a last resort.
All medication has side effects that are often worse than the original problem.
If anyone tells you you need to take medication, I'd get a second opinion.

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Hippocratic oath..."Thou shall do no harm". Doctors generally weigh up risk & benefit before prescribing anything to avoid causing harm (& subsequent highly stressful investigations & inquiries, & law suits.

Yes...all medicines have side effects, & potential to cause some serious ones - but not usually worse than the original condition. Drs don't always get treatment right, but strive to do good in the main - & mostly achieve it. Some things are not curable & get progressively worse over time...Drs help to maintain quality of life as high & for as long as they can.

Medicine is rarely a precise, one size fits all, science - the Drs don't always get it right.

Always better to talk to your Dr about any condition than blindly accept & glibly follow advice on social media.

If every time a Dr prescribes medication a second opinion is sought...have you any idea how under-staffed the NHS would be then? The cost of running it? The trial & tribulation of running it?

I agree that if you take medication & you think it is bringing about some unpleasant side effect you should stop taking it & go back to the Dr. I would agree that you have every right to question what the effects short medium & long term of any medication might be...& demand the response is recorded (& ask to see it saved on your record), & then perhaps if you are not happy - seek a second opinion.

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Caffeine as well, cut that out!

Nick said:

Caffeine as well, cut that out!

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Always feel anxious if I have too much but can never cut it out. Same with alcohol!


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Gazolba said:

Many people swear by Transcendental Meditation.
Transcendental Meditation Technique – Official Website

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It is worthwhile exploring every angle to discover what works for you as an individual. Including this.

I have found 5 things help me cope:
1. I tell my partner I need some me time & piss off to a coffee shop & sit & read for an hour. That is rare, I usually find 1/2hr on a night does the trick - but not every night...just when it appeals
2. I read a book called "How to be idle" - some brilliant tongue in cheek delivery about takes on life. One thing recommended which I have done is to buy a Ukulele & learn to play it. Not necessarily like George Formby but atm I have learned how to play "You are my sunshine" & "Blowing in the wind" - not brilliantly but it has such a feel good factor to learning something you can just pick up & strum at a basic level for 5mins at various points in the day
3. Avoid the TV - there is so much shit on it frustrates. So turn it off but find some means you trust to research programs or series then watch them on catch up or Netflix...but watch specifics, don't have the TV on in the background
4. Conversely/radio music at background level can be relaxing...sometimes even turn that off & enjoy the natural sounds of you environment for 15mins...what can you hear??? Don't judge the noises but think about them
5. Make sure you get enough sex & sleep...getting enough sleep is the toughest one of all of these for me...I don't sleep if I go to bed too early. Missus sleeps with the windows open so the bloody birds wake me up early. Eventually I reach a point where I sleep through that but she sets her alarm for 6am for work. Then she feels the cold so has a warm quilt on, I feel the heat so sweat my nuts off lol

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djr8369 said:

Always feel anxious if I have too much but can never cut it out. Same with alcohol!


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I know what you mean, I went about 3 months without any and felt much better for it but then needed a strong coffee to wake up!

Nick said:

Caffeine as well, cut that out!

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I'm on my round and I've just had my 4th cup of tea. Add half a dozen biscuits and a slice of cake, keeps me going !

bringbackrattles said:

I'm on my round and I've just had my 4th cup of tea. Add half a dozen biscuits and a slice of cake, keeps me going !

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What area/s do you work?


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djr8369 said:

What area/s do you work?


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Just Walsgrave now. I've just been bartering with an Indian woman over her garden that she wants me to work on. It's the size of a football pitch. Told her the price, she has tried to reduce it by half , so told her I'll leave it then.

Rich said:

Got windows on the lawn?

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I get where your coming from. I also tidy up gardens for customers. Most are great when you give them a quote, but I've mentioned this before on here about the odd one or two who just try to bring the price down and I have to say usually Indians. Nice people and all that but will try and get you to work for sod all.

bringbackrattles said:

Just Walsgrave now. I've just been bartering with an Indian woman over her garden that she wants me to work on. It's the size of a football pitch. Told her the price, she has tried to reduce it by half , so told her I'll leave it then.

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can i add this to the 'things that annoy me' thread (i.e the use of the word 'bartering', when you mean 'haggling' ) - except if shes is offering to give you some goods in exchange for your work that is)

signed
A.N Asshole

richnrg said:

A.N Asshole

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Add in people who use Americanisms like asshole instead of arsehole.

Signed

A. Twat

fellatio_Martinez said:

Add in people who use Americanisms like asshole instead of arsehole.

Signed

A. Twat

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:emoji_joy:

Meditation can change your life

Give it 2 weeks of daily practice and see how you feel. Try aim for 20 to 30 mins

Not gonna get into personal demons but everyone deserves to be happy so hopefully this will work for you.

covcity4life said:

Meditation can change your life

Give it 2 weeks of daily practice and see how you feel. Try aim for 20 to 30 mins

Not gonna get into personal demons but everyone deserves to be happy so hopefully this will work for you.

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It's not that easy finding 30 minutes to do it in a peaceful place.

covcity4life said:

Meditation can change your life

Give it 2 weeks of daily practice and see how you feel. Try aim for 20 to 30 mins

Not gonna get into personal demons but everyone deserves to be happy so hopefully this will work for you.

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aren't there different types of meditation? Which one do you do?

Medication can be find for a short period of time where someone’s condition is at its peak, seen it so many times where it’s gone the other way as they cannot get the dosage of anti’s correct which can take weeks if not months. In the long term the body will either become immune to them or that state then becomes the norm. Either way it isn’t long term

Nick said:

It's not that easy finding 30 minutes to do it in a peaceful place.

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No i imsgine not esepcially with kids.

I started waking up early like 530am to 615am and it makes you feel soo much better. Do meditation first thing and then you have rest of day ahead of you. No rushing to work snd stress etc either

clint van damme said:

aren't there different types of meditation? Which one do you do?

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I do mantra recitation. Can be quiet loud slow fast upto you. Change it up at any second.

You WILL rabdonly think of howulla upfront or ccfc retuening to sold oit ricoh etc lol. Key is to not ruminate on it and just get bsck to thinking about thr mantra only.

All about slowing ys brain down and give it 25 mins to relax

Covstu said:

Medication can be find for a short period of time where someone’s condition is at its peak, seen it so many times where it’s gone the other way as they cannot get the dosage of anti’s correct which can take weeks if not months. In the long term the body will either become immune to them or that state then becomes the norm. Either way it isn’t long term

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Pills dont cure depression either. Nothing does. All about coping best way u can so u stop it ruining ur life imo

covcity4life said:

Pills dont cure depression either. Nothing does. All about coping best way u can so u stop it ruining ur life imo

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Medication isn't about curing depression though it's about managing it.

clint van damme said:

Medication isn't about curing depression though it's about managing it.

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Thats literally what i just said?

covcity4life said:

Thats literally what i just said?

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You did actually.

Bump. Had a stinker of a week this week, which awakened an old haunt. Probably just not this week actually it’s been a rough few months for me and the mrs (no strain in our relationship or anything like that). Loss in family, multiple miscarriages.

I’ve driven almost 9 years accident free, but on Monday morning I rear ended someone on M6 in my 12T DAF. Nobody was hurt, the collision wasn’t at high speed. Yes it was mainly my fault but looking back at the footage it could have easily been avoided by other parties too. Anyway that kicked off my old fight with anxiety. Work assured and reassured me I wasn’t in trouble, but as the week went on and we were still struggling at home, I got into a deeper hole. Yesterday morning an artic reversed into the front of me, no idea how he didn’t see me or hear my horn! Then towards the end of my shift about 2-3 miles before the depot, my truck decided that enough was enough. Which triggered some more stress in an already heightened and over-emotional, irrational state of mind. When normally I would’ve laughed (but still be pissed off). I’ve had this job for about a month and it’s been bad luck, and pure incompetence (on the employers part) all along. My wife worries about me and that makes me feel worse. As I said before with the grievances, the employer counselling service thinks we haven’t given ourselves the time to grieve with personal loss, because it coincided with redundancy- all focus at the time went on getting another job.

I booked an appointment but I think they’ll just suggest medication. From experience they’re a bitch to ween yourself off them because I became dependant on them. Sorry for the essay.

Tommo1993 said:

Bump. Had a stinker of a week this week, which awakened an old haunt. Probably just not this week actually it’s been a rough few months for me and the mrs (no strain in our relationship or anything like that). Loss in family, multiple miscarriages.

I’ve driven almost 9 years accident free, but on Monday morning I rear ended someone on M6 in my 12T DAF. Nobody was hurt, the collision wasn’t at high speed. Yes it was mainly my fault but looking back at the footage it could have easily been avoided by other parties too. Anyway that kicked off my old fight with anxiety. Work assured and reassured me I wasn’t in trouble, but as the week went on and we were still struggling at home, I got into a deeper hole. Yesterday morning an artic reversed into the front of me, no idea how he didn’t see me or hear my horn! Then towards the end of my shift about 2-3 miles before the depot, my truck decided that enough was enough. Which triggered some more stress in an already heightened and over-emotional, irrational state of mind. When normally I would’ve laughed (but still be pissed off). I’ve had this job for about a month and it’s been bad luck, and pure incompetence (on the employers part) all along. My wife worries about me and that makes me feel worse. As I said before with the grievances, the employer counselling service thinks we haven’t given ourselves the time to grieve with personal loss, because it coincided with redundancy- all focus at the time went on getting another job.

I booked an appointment but I think they’ll just suggest medication. From experience they’re a bitch to ween yourself off them because I became dependant on them. Sorry for the essay.

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A mate of mine who's been a long distance lorry driver for many years has just retired. He's 60 years old. I had a chat with him in the pub last week and asked him why retire now ? He told me he'd witnessed 2 fatal car smashes within weeks off each other, one he said was horrendous. It shook him up that much he took this is a sign/ warning that did he want to continue travelling around tensed up etc anticipating danger every day ? He came to the conclusion he could afford to retire and did so. He misses a few drivers he's worked with for years, but other than that he feels good.

Tommo1993 said:

Bump. Had a stinker of a week this week, which awakened an old haunt. Probably just not this week actually it’s been a rough few months for me and the mrs (no strain in our relationship or anything like that). Loss in family, multiple miscarriages.

I’ve driven almost 9 years accident free, but on Monday morning I rear ended someone on M6 in my 12T DAF. Nobody was hurt, the collision wasn’t at high speed. Yes it was mainly my fault but looking back at the footage it could have easily been avoided by other parties too. Anyway that kicked off my old fight with anxiety. Work assured and reassured me I wasn’t in trouble, but as the week went on and we were still struggling at home, I got into a deeper hole. Yesterday morning an artic reversed into the front of me, no idea how he didn’t see me or hear my horn! Then towards the end of my shift about 2-3 miles before the depot, my truck decided that enough was enough. Which triggered some more stress in an already heightened and over-emotional, irrational state of mind. When normally I would’ve laughed (but still be pissed off). I’ve had this job for about a month and it’s been bad luck, and pure incompetence (on the employers part) all along. My wife worries about me and that makes me feel worse. As I said before with the grievances, the employer counselling service thinks we haven’t given ourselves the time to grieve with personal loss, because it coincided with redundancy- all focus at the time went on getting another job.

I booked an appointment but I think they’ll just suggest medication. From experience they’re a bitch to ween yourself off them because I became dependant on them. Sorry for the essay.

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that sounds tough fella, you need time to grieve in all cases but people deal with it in different ways, some thrown themselves into work but if that goes south then can amplify the pain. Appreciate it’s easier said than done but try and compartmentalise each ‘downer’ and look at it in isolation. Traffic bumps are horrible but no one was hurt, job is fine and you got home safe. If you try and deal with multiple issues as a whole, you won’t cope as it will be too much info at once. Again appreciate it’s easier to say this but I have found it a useful technique down the line to manage a series of events over the years.

Russell Brand is doing some really good work on YouTube. His delivery is very calm and nothing like the crazed over top character he plays on TV plus he's gone through all this stuff so he has lots of personal advice as well as info on other teachings.

I wish I could say yes. After all I have a lovely family, a good job, I own my own house and have a car. However, due to major money worries I feel extremely anxious all the time at the moment and quite frankly depressed. Hopefully 2020 will be the year things start to improve on that front and I can start being a bit more optimistic.

Glad I have my family as I'm not sure I would be here if they weren't here to support/love me

Good talk guys. 6-8 hours on the road a day I understand the likelihood is higher of witnessing/doing something unfortunate - I’m gonna have to toughen up. Admittedly the last job was very cushy, this job is full on and physically demanding. So I think adapting and exhaustion has a part to play. I’ll get used to it. Digging our personal lives out of this hole is certainly my biggest concern. The only thing I can find solace in atm is the mrs and to see her struggling is the big blow.

Being a lorry driver doesn't help mental health problems. Lots of time alone to overthink things.
I've had some rough times. I'm in a good place at the moment though. I got through it by telling myself that the way I was feeling wasn't going to last forever.
All the best to you.

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If I let myself go physically, anxiety will rear its ugly head fairly quickly and then caffeine, social situations and any kind of relationship stress will turn my mind into a cluster fuck of fear and doubt.

I'm pretty sure I'm still grieving on some subconscious level after the deaths of people close to me last year and it's manifesting itself as anxiety.

I hope to fuck it eventually goes because living life second guessing your own mind is shit. I truly don't know how people cope with depression added in too.

I found the depression was sort of a byproduct of the anxiety. I had OCD of horrific things happening to loved ones which then caused massive anxiety. Which in turn caused me to be depressed, because I thought there would be no end to my horrific thoughts. The only way I thought there would be an end to the way I was feeling, would be when i was dead.
Never ending circle of head fuck.
Thanks to my amazing wife, and managing to teach myself that thoughts are just thoughts. I got myself off that vicious circle. Wasn't easy, and I still have the odd day where I feel shit. However these are now very few and far between.
Wouldn't wish OCD on my worst enemy.

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covmark said:

Being a lorry driver doesn't help mental health problems. Lots of time alone to overthink things.
I've had some rough times. I'm in a good place at the moment though. I got through it by telling myself that the way I was feeling wasn't going to last forever.
All the best to you.

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Spot on. These work counsellors said where I’ve gone from a very friendly caring team to being on my own, my thoughts have caught up with me and is probably a factor. Think I agree. We came to Merry Hill today. ‘Retail therapy’ the mrs calls it. I feel no better spending money!

Must admit how refreshing it is to read blokes opening up about problems etc. Years ago you had to " man up" grow a pair and just get on with things. I still wouldn't go to the pub and say to the lads in there I'm feeling depressed, it is something you've grown up with keep feelings to yourself. Not that I am but I reckon if I was I'd open up and sod the reaction. I honestly reckon my outdoor job is great for warding off the blues, pardon the pun, as a couple of hours in the fresh air and I'm feeling good. But clinical depression is serious, I had a touch of it once in prison years ago, thought I was losing the plot, luckily I got moved to a better prison where I was in the gym most days as exercise is essential I discovered for mental issues.

Good thread chaps - things effect us all through our lives and as above we tend to try and Cover them up however opening up here is quite cathartic and while we are just virtual people there is empathy and sympathy amongst us which is comforting - also a problem
Shared is a problem halved !

I have a good friend who I talk to but have to filter what I tell him as his wife has no tact and any issue passed on would be outed immediately and sometimes stuff should stay between friends - you could say it’s his fault but she’s a bloody terror