Recent content by KelV6

Did you hear about the Conservative MP who was found dead in an Arsenal strip? The police had to dress him up in women's underwear in order to save his family from the embarassment.

Walkers Mystery Flavour Crisps! They tasted just like my ex's pussy, I thought it was just my imagination, but all the lads in the pub say the same ...

Breaking News: Robin Van Persie's north London apartment is on fire. Police suspect Arsene.

Ferdinand got very very excited when he heard the female Swedish gymnastics team had said they were all getting ready for Rio.

A friend of mine fell & drowned in a bowl of muesli He was pulled under by a strong currant..

A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says: " I'll have a pint please, and one for the road."

I had an Eskimo ring me the other day, trying to sell me an Igloo! I really hate cold callers!

Chris Huhne's wife to replace John Terry They say she’s good at taking penalties

The Alzheimer's specialist gave me some bad news yesterday But I cant remember what is was...

another chef has been arrested tonite & charged with fraud! apparently he's been cooking the books!

A well known celebrity chef walks out of Tesco with a chicken under his coat. Security stopped him and asked "what u doing with that then?" To which he replied, "chips & peas"

My girlfriend loves Australian kisses. They're the same as French kisses, but down under!

A couple kids wanted to play a joke on their parents, so while they were not looking they popped their parents mobile devices into some pastry mix, and put it into the oven to bake. A short while later, "we've baked you something" the kids announced, "how nice, what is it?" the parents...

Onion jokes always bring tears to my eyes...

Police stopped a BMW on the motorway who appeared to have a couple of snakes attached to the front screen, when asked for an explanation the driver replied "they are my windscreen vipers"